What I’ve Learned About Living Abroad

Hello everyone! I thought I’d take the time to list out 5 of the most important things I learned about living abroad over the past year. Let’s get into it.

1. It can be exhausting (especially with communication barriers)

Let’s face it! Most people love the sound of a year abroad. It’s like a big vacation right!? Wrong. Have you ever spent an hour online trying to order pizza in a different language only to eventually give up? Have you ever purposely avoided going to the grocery store because you have a pimple and you know people will be staring at you simply because you’re a foreigner? Have you ever been caught in a torrential downpour without an umbrella when your bus is half an hour away? These are just some of the hardships I’ve faced living abroad specially somewhere where you can’t speak the language! Some days you just want to blend in, but you always stick out like a sore thumb: Nothing is easy and everything takes an extra layer of thought.

2. Traveling is real world education.

The school of life, ladies and gents! In conjunction with number one, having these experiences forces you to grow as a person. You are constantly growing and evolving. I remember how amazing it felt when I mastered the routine of going to the grocery store.

First, they are going to ask you if you want a bag. Next, they take your card. Lastly, you say the four numbers for your point card. Just four Korean numbers. You can do this Anna. Whew. Nailed it.

I saw a post recently that compared traveling to being in kindergarten again. “Your whole life becomes a series of interesting guesses.” Everything is scary and you have no idea what you’re doing, but once you figure it out you feel immense joy.

3. You can feel people’s energy without speaking the same language.

I learned this with many of the Korean teachers at my school. Most of them have a beginner’s level of English so our communication is minimal when we don’t have one of the bilingual teachers around to translate. There’s so many times I wish we could communicate more clearly because I just know we would be great friends. I feel like we already are. I have always seen myself as someone who can read others well, but I definitely think my senses are heightened after a year abroad.

4. It’s a transient lifestyle.

There is no getting comfortable in life abroad. There where a few times here where I thought I was (Little did I know the rug was about to be pulled out from under me). The first moment I can think of came 4 months after arriving where my co-teacher left the school. She was my best friend and I was horrified and devastated. Then a few months later, my best friend in Korea left and went back home to South Africa. All of the sudden, I was the longest working foreign teacher at my school. I had to be a leader and without my partner in crime. It’s hard to feel settled when things keep changing. As an expat, friends will come and go. As a teacher in a hagwon, workers will come and go. Nothing has any sense of permanence here.

5. Homes are where you make them.

That being said, your new country will become your home. And home will be home too. As an expat, you will spread your heart far and wide. This is the most beautiful and heart breaking part of the whole experience. Over the year, I have left parts of my heart in many places. Japan and Taiwan got small chunks of my heart as I solo-ventured and fell in love with them. South Africa got another piece of my heart with the friends I made that went home. The largest portion will stay in Korea and more specially with my students. I am struggling with saying goodbye because Korea truly does feel like home to me. I am so grateful to have met so many amazing people that make saying bye so difficult.

I hope you enjoyed and got some insight into my journey abroad.

Peace & Love,

Anna

Answering the Same Questions (One Year Later)

One year ago, I answered a list of questions to compare my life before and after living in Korea. Does moving to the other side of the world really change your life as much as you think it will? Just because you’re chasing a new opportunity, will you magically be happy all the time? These were my questions. Here are the results.

These questions were answered a few weeks ago. I have been formatting and editing this post since which is why some of the timing may not make sense for the present day/time.

1.Where are you right now? What are you doing?

Before: Currently, it’s 6:53 am. I am in San Diego sitting on the couch of the family I nanny for writing this blog post and drinking a venti iced coffee with soy milk.  I’m wearing a YMCA half zip sweatshirt, blue striped workout pants, two different socks, my hair in a bun, and zero make up.

Currently: It’s 10:20 pm on a Sunday night. I’m in Changwon, South Korea. I’m looking for places to live in Madrid (where I move in 2.5 months). I am wearing a grey T-shirt and underwear and that’s it. Also, not sure why I felt the need to mention what I was wearing in the past because it is not part of the question.

2. What does a day in your life look like?

Before: Right now, a day in my life is waking up at 5:30 am, running out the door to make it to work by 6 am, sitting on the couch until the girls wake up at 8:30, and doing nanny duties (such as cooking and going to the swimming pool) until about 4pm. I usually sit and talk with their mom for about 30 minutes before driving home and throwing together a dinner (last night was PB&J). Then, I sit in my bed and watch Youtube until I fall asleep around 9:30 and do it all over again. On the weekend, I typically wake up around 7 am, make myself banana protein pancakes with peanut butter, go to my parents’s house, play with my dogs, watch my brother’s basketball game, and then go home and watch Youtube.

I watch a lot of Youtube.

Currently: These days a normal day starts at 7:30 am. I get up and ready by 8:30. I usually grab a breakfast sandwich on my way to school. I start teaching at 9:10. I teach my kinder class until 2:30, then I teach elementary classes until 6:10 with some breaks in between. I get home by 6:40pm which gives me enough time to eat and relax before doing it all again. I still watch a lot of YouTube. I also started watching a lot of series on Netflix which I never did before.

(Currently obsessed with Orphan Black)

3. What is your relationships status? How do you feel about it?

Before: I am currently and newly single. At first it was easy, I was in Peru experiencing some of the most magnificent things of my life. Then, I came home to the apartment where we used to live together and it hurt. I very much still live in our space which I think is the hardest part. Some days the fog takes over and I start to forget why I ended things and essentially inflicted this horrifying pain on myself. Most days I am clear and feel good. Even when it hurts, I know I made the right decision for my life right now. I have been focusing on me and picking up old hobbies I used to work on before I got into a relationship. I am trying to focus on the present instead of past or future.

Currently: I am so extremely single. I am still learning a lot about myself some of which needs to be figured out before I get into a relationship again. I am not actively dating or seeking any relationship but am open to what the universe has planned for me. It doesn’t feel like the right time because of my move to Spain. I never dated in Korea because I could always see the expiration date. My life seems very transitional at the moment which doesn’t seem conducive to a relationship. Of course there are times I miss the comfort of a relationship, but most days I am happy with my freedom.

4. Are you happy?

 Before: Right now, I feel content. I have been feeling as if I’m living for the future which is to be expected because I’m moving across the world and can’t stop wondering what it will be like. I feel like I’ve been distracted and seeing this question has really caused me to think about it. I am grateful and blessed therefore in this moment I am happy. I think happiness fleeting; I am searching for joy and peace which I feel that I have.

Currently: I am happy, but it is happiness I didn’t expect. It is the same happiness I felt before. I think I expected everything to be new, different, and full of joy but the truth is after living in another country for a year you become accustomed to your surroundings. Even though it’s only been a short time, you quickly remember that this is your life and just because you’re thousands of miles away doesn’t mean you’re on vacation. I experience so much joy every day spending time with my students who are truly my best friends in Korea. I am happy but it is a familiar feeling.

5. What are your beliefs?

Before: The number one belief I hold right now is that everyone (the vast majority) of people are doing what they think is the right thing to do. What I mean by that is nobody is trying to hurt other people whether it be politically or personally everyone operates on their truths. Truth is subjective obviously. We create our truth and truths can change. It helps me to keep positive and respectful when dealing with others who may have differing truths from mine. Everyone is doing what they think is the best thing for their lives. The second belief I have, which goes hand and hand with the former, is the only thing we can control is our own feelings. We will never be able to control what happens to us or what others say or do. We can simply only control our reaction. It is a lifelong practice.

Currently: I believe people come in and out of our lives for a reason. People bring us joy; they teach us lessons. Don’t force staying where you are. Force growth and challenges that will bring you rewarding people are opportunities.

6. What are you most proud of in your life?

Before: I am most proud of myself. Over the past few years, I have done so many difficult things and grown so much. I have lost over 60 pounds, completely changed my mindset to a more positive one, created so much opportunity for myself, done uncomfortable things, spread more love, surrounded myself with a more positive peer group, and I WALKED ON FIRE. I just could have never seen my life where it is now. I am proud that I am learning to embrace change and fear.

Currently: I am proud of myself for persevering. I did a hard thing and I did it well. I am proud of myself for taking a risk and riding the waves of consequence that risk held for me. I saw many people who couldn’t do it and I’m happy that I did. I’m proud of myself for embracing and participating in a new culture, language, and lifestyle. I’m proud I didn’t quit when others did.

7. How do you picture your life a year from now?

Before: A year from I picture myself writing this in my studio apartment maybe on the 17th floor of a tall building, in the middle of a bustling city. I will have almost completed one year in Korea as a new teacher.  I will probably be exhausted but be sad at the thought of leaving my kids. I picture myself with new friends from around the world and possibly a new relationship. I think I will have committed to another year abroad. If not, I think I will be applying for graduate school for linguistics probably not in San Diego, maybe a different country altogether.

Currently: It’s so crazy to think how much in a year. Most of my predictions for this year were correct. I have so many new friends and am definitely dreading leaving my babies. By next year, I think I will have finished my new program in Spain. I think I will be applying for a Master’s program in Education/TEFL. It’s very possible that this could be abroad or an online program so I can travel.

8. What advice would you give yourself one year ago?

Before: Trust your instincts EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO. EVEN WHEN IT’S THE SEEMINGLY HARDER CHOICE. You can fight so many things but not yourself. It is the most tiring battle. It will take more work to undo what you’ve done to yourself than doing what you are trying to avoid. Once it’s done you will feel peace, don’t delay that relief just to avoid pain. Trust yourself.

Currently: Don’t hold on to the past. Don’t hold on to people who aren’t on your side. Embrace the newness and know what’s coming is so amazing. You will make friends with people from all over the world and from all walks of life. Whenever one door, closes another opens.

9. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned in life to date?

Before: 1.That you have to work on yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, you can change it.

2. If nothing ever changed, we would be just as unhappy.  In the past, I focused so much on trying to keep things the same because change scared me, but imagine if nothing ever changed. We would be so bored and probably more unhappy. It’s because happiness comes from growth, and growth comes with pain! They go hand in hand.

I just blew my own mind I think.

Currently: I still standby my previous comments but would like to add something. The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is that you can’t run away from your problems. I have met so many people who came here to escape things from back home (partially including myself). The truth is your life is your life no matter where you go and although changing your surroundings can be helpful, you can not escape anything (especially in this day and age with the technology that connects us).  Although it may nice to have a break from certain people and places, overall you either carry your problems with you or create new ones in your new home. The most important thing you can do is feel your feelings. Don’t ignore what you’re going through.

10. What do you want to have achieved one year from now?

Before: In one year, I want to have stayed in Korea for one year. I know that seems repetitive and self-explanatory but what I really mean is: I don’t want to give up. I want to fight through the pain and the loneliness. In situations of fight or flight, I tend to be a flight-er. This time I want to be a fighter. I want to have seen many more countries, made new friends, successfully have taught my own class for the first time. I would also like to have kept up with this blog and really document my experiences!

Currently: I hope by this time next year I am a high level Spanish speaker. My profesional goal for Spain is to increase my language abilities. Personally, I would like to continue coming out of my shell. In Korea, I definitely said “eff it” a lot and was able to let my guard down. I felt pretty confident in my skin but I would like to embrace myself even more. I would like to say yes to as many opportunities and experiences as I can. I hope I will have seen at least 5 more countries!

11.Write the words you need to hear.

Before: Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today. Embrace uncertainty and change. Nothing will ever stay the same forever. Learn to roll with it. Take each day as it comes and be grateful for what it brings. Live one day at a time.

Que sera, sera!

Currently: Everything will happen in it’s right time. Focus on now. Take it one day at a time. We can’t predict the future or change the past. Opportunities will reveal themselves in due time. Also, crying is okay and know that the reason you are struggling is because saying goodbye to people you love so fiercely is daunting but be glad you even had the opportunity to spread and receive that kind of love.

Excited to see where I will go.

Peace & Love,

Anna

What I’ve Learned About Relationships From Being Single for 1 Year

One year ago I completely destroyed my “perfect” little life. Really, I should say I took the first step, which was also the biggest and hardest one to take. The breakup.

Coming to the conclusion that I needed to break up with someone was the hardest part. It was almost a year of ignoring the little voice in my head that said, “Maybe this isn’t meant to be your forever.” Breaking up didn’t sound easy, fun, or sensible, so in my brain it wasn’t a possibility. The thoughts kept creeping up on me, in the shower, while driving, while in school. They became harder to ignore and I manifested them into a crippling anxiety that couldn’t be ignored. When my physical heart started hurting and I wasn’t sleeping, I knew it was time to at least consider it. I didn’t talk about it out loud. I kept it in and pushed it down. I couldn’t talk to my friends about it because once it came out of my mouth I knew I would have to face it. But being the over-sharer I am, one day it came out at dinner with a friend and then just a few short days letter it happened.

You may be asking why I’m sharing this when people that I wish wouldn’t will probably read it and it’s all so deeply and painfully personal. Well I have a few answers to that question:

1. I think it could actually really help someone especially people who are like me and had no idea what a break up would actually be like
2. Writing is my therapy
3. Because as horrible as it was my break up was the best thing that ever happened to me

So without further ado I would like to share the 6 biggest lessons I’ve learned about love, relationships, and break ups in the last year.

1. Being in a relationship is not a solution to all of life’s problems.

Our world places a ridiculous amount of pressure on people to be in relationships. They paint this picture that nothing bad can happen to you once you find “the one”. The truth is life will try to knock you down whether you are single or not. Being in a relationship does not protect you from the cruelties of life, so staying in one when it’s not working is only going to cause more trouble.

2. Peace and mourning can co-exist

To quote the iconic adolescent novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”

This was another huge lesson for me. I felt like if I was sad I couldn’t possibly be making the right choice. But I noticed that once I faced my fears, confronted my feelings, and just did it, I felt at peace. I also felt so incredibly sad. Healing is not linear and there are definitely still days where I feel sad and some nights where I randomly I cry. However, I am always positive this was the best decision for me because I also feel an overwhelming amount of peace. As soon as I confronted my feelings, my physical anxiety symptoms went away and were replaced by a calm vulnerability.

3. The right decision is often the harder one to make.

It shouldn’t be so hard to leave, but it also shouldn’t be so hard to stay. There’s a difference between working on what you can fix and staying after time has expired. Of course, staying together seems like the easier answer but the harder choice is almost always the better one. Personal growth is right outside your comfort zone and leaving my bubble and facing the hard truth opened the door to many amazing opportunities. Growing is painful but we can be truly happy unless we are progressing. Staying in a dying relationship because it feels better than confronting your feelings will only hurt you more in the end.

4. Trust Yourself.

You shouldn’t have to make a list of pros and cons to decide to stay or go. If your heart says it’s time, then it’s time. I so badly wanted to avoid pain that I literally disconnected myself from my heart even though it was telling me the truth all along. It caused much more damage in the long run and I’m still working to rebuild that connection with myself. Just listen to your gut.

5. You’re allowed to be sad even if you’re the “heartbreaker”.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and I think it’s actually the reason I lost many friends during this time of my life. Since I was the one breaking up with someone, I really felt as if I had no place to be sad. This was what I “wanted” and so I had to be happy about it. If I was that heartbroken, why would we be breaking up in the first place? It lead me to try to act tougher and happier than I really was. Since in my relationship I had suppressed a lot of emotions, it only felt natural at this point to continue to do so. These shattering life moments don’t come with a rule book, although sometimes society makes it seem that way. If you’re sad, feel sad.

6. Just because it’s not wrong doesn’t mean it’s right!

This was definitely one of the biggest lessons for me and one that I’m still learning fully. It’s easy for friends and family to say, “But he was such a nice guy!” Of course then your brain agrees and decided you’ll never meet a “nice” guy again as if “nice” is the only thing a person needs to be to have a fulfilling relationship. You can have the perfect guy and still not be happy. If he’s not perfect for you, then it’s time to go. Don’t use every bad thing he doesn’t do as an excuse to stay.

You’re still probably wondering why l said my break up is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So before I go, let me explain.

My breakup forced me to do something really difficult. Something I really wanted to avoid because of fear and pain. By breaking down that boundary and doing the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, I was set free. Nothing scared me anymore. If I could do that horrifying thing, I could do other scary things too. Things that I would bring me massive joy- like moving to Korea. If I hadn’t had the courage to break up with my ex, I’m not sure I would be here today. I wouldn’t have been in this stunning country. I wouldn’t have experienced the strong bond and immense love my students and I share. I wouldn’t have made the incredible friends I have. Friends that think smarter and more openly than anyone I have ever met. Girls who also took that risk and faced their fear. Women who are still helping me pick up the pieces today.

I am so blessed and grateful for all the changes that have occurred in my life over the last year. None of them could have happened, if I hadn’t taken the first steps.

This blog isn’t to tell you to break up- unless your heart is already telling you to do so. If this is the sign you need, take it. In all, I’m really telling you that if you do the impossible things, unbelievable things happen in return.

Love,

Anna

P.S. I feel like I have to add as a disclaimer that I by no means intend to make my ex look bad. He is a great person and I hope you can understand this is more about me and my self-discovery than it is about him.

One Month in Korea

Yes, you read that right. Somehow I’ve already been here for 30 days. It feels like it’s been  longer but simultaneously the month has flown by. It’s crazy how settled I feel in such a short amount of time. I am already adjusted to my daily routine which I’m grateful allows me to sleep in until 7:30 (a luxury I’ve never had before). As someone who enjoys the morning, I’m so glad I’m able to wake up slowly and take my time getting ready before heading into work at 9.

The first few hours of my day is spent teaching my kinder class. I teach them phonics and do workbook activities with them before switching to another kindergarten class to teach reading comprehension. Then I come back to my class and teach them reading comprehension as well. Somewhere in between those classes I get a lunch break which starts by eating Korean “cafeteria” food. Cafeteria is in quotations because it’s nothing like American school lunch. There is rice every single day and some variation of meat, vegetables, and soup (no hot dogs, pizza, or burger to be found). After lunch, I continue teaching for about an hour before my kids get ready to go home. Recently added into this routine is braiding my girls’ hair. I did it once (now they request it every day) and if I braid for one of them I must braid for all. I don’t complain though because I love that it makes them feel so special and it makes me feel special too. I always have to take a picture of it so they can see what it looks like.

Once they leave, the afternoon classes start. These classes are about 40 minutes long and focus on different subjects. I have same two second grade girls every day and teach them reading, math, and writing. I love that it’s just us three. I’m getting to know them really well and they are so sweet. This week I picked up a new class later in the day for reading and writing. They are goofy and full of energy. We get along very well.

While you’re reading this it may seem like a lot of teaching, which it is. But, I do also have a lot of down time in between to work on class decorations or any prep work. This week has been crafty with Halloween coming up. I prefer to teach though since it makes the day go by more quickly.

Here’s a photo of my little monsters with their jack-o-lantern faces that they cut and glued themselves. You can also see a bit of our decor.

At 6 pm, I practically run home. I can’t wait to eat and do as little as possible for the rest of the night. My work is not very difficult but the days are extremely long and draining ( as any teacher knows).

I have to also give a shout out to my amazing co-teacher! She is probably reading this! If you are, Sunny you are so amazing! You guys, seriously, I cannot believe how hard she works every single day for our students. She is an incredible partner, huge help to me, and a great friend to have during my time here. After work one night this week we went to the store to buy decorations for our class, but we took our time. We went to dinner and she even took the time to let me grocery shop and buy stuff for my home before driving me back home! Oh, and she bought me ice cream! I am truly so lucky!

If there is anything I can say that is a testament to how happy and at peace I feel here so far, it would be this, I haven’t been biting my nails. Those who know me well know I have been an obsessive anxious nail biter for my entire life. I am pleased to say that typing this feels weird right now because my nails are actually pressing the keys before my fingers. Truly, this is a good sign.

Anyways, I am so grateful for all I have experienced in such a short time. I have already visited many different cities and have many big plans in the works. Tomorrow, I am going to a lantern festival. Next weekend, I am going to the DMZ and one of the highest mountains in Korea and in a few weeks I’m going to an apple festival with a friend (who I met in Portugal) who is studying abroad here! There is definitely no shortage of things to do in this country.

Thank you for the constant support I have received over the past month and the interest in my crazy journey. I truly appreciate every reader, Facebook like, Youtube view, etc.

1 down. 11 to go. Let the adventure continue.

Peace & Love,

Anna

The Longest Week of My Life

Okay, so it’s Friday night at 7:19 which means in one hour I will have officially been in South Korea for one whole week. It feels like this easily could have been 5 weeks mashed into one. I am already surprised by how settled in I am and how comfortable I feel here.

I’m currently sat in a Korean cafe down the street from my house counting the bug bites I acquired on the 20 minute walk home (11 so far… edit: over 20 easily), drinking a green tea latte I ordered only because I said “tea” and the barista didn’t understand I was trying to ask her what kind of tea they had. This is the first night since I’ve been here that I haven’t done something big and I thought about going home and crashing immediately but I felt bad about spending my first Friday night in my new home being a couch potato (Although I surely deserve it).

I want to recap as much as possible that I’ve experienced and learned this week but I know a lot will fall through the cracks. I want this first blog to be conversational and stream of consciousness style so here we go…

I have a new name. You can call me “Anna Teacher” from now on. I already love being Anna Teacher. I have my homeroom class of seven students that I have already figured out surprisingly well. There’s the bossy one, the quiet one, and one who can’t seem to keep from falling on the floor every five steps. I love them so much already and it only took 5 minutes for them to go from standing in the corner awkwardly to hanging all over me. One thing worth mentioning is Korean’s obsession with beauty. I have one student in particular who has already told me I’m prettier than the last teacher, requested I wear dresses, complimented my hair, and got up during the middle of class to inspect my choice of earrings. This obsession goes for the parents as well. My co-teacher constantly has to brush my student’s hair so their parents don’t get upset when they get home. My co-teacher is so sweet and so helpful. I feel really lucky to have gotten her.

One thing that blows me away is how incredibly smart my student’s are. They are 6 years old Korean age (so 5 American age) and they are already reading at the age of American 7 year olds. Although I am amazed, I am also sad because I know how hard they have to work for that and the amount of pressure that is put on them at such a young age.

I survived my first field trip to a Korean broadcasting network. The entire presentation was in Korean so I don’t really know what was said but it was still fun to get out of the school and see something new.

Speaking of new things here is a bulleted list of strange things I have learned about Korea this week:

1. There is no regard for pedestrians here. Cars will not stop for you.
2. Since I’m sitting in a cafe, it’s worth noting. Cafe’s are not open early in the morning. Even Starbucks doesn’t open until 7 and most local cafes don’t open until 8:30 or later.
3. Korean’s have their own messaging system called Kakao Talk which is basically like WhatsApp. The app has it’s own emojis and the character’s are EVERYWHERE on EVERY kind of merchandise. (This is my bus card with one of the characters on it and a cheese cake bread with a different one called Ryan)
4. Clothing sizes are so small here. Even the American brands only go up to a size 8!!! WTF!
5. There is no shower. There is a shower head on your bathroom wall. My bathroom doesn’t even have a sink in it.
6. Everything has sugar on it. Even garlic bread.
7. Korean’s LOVE corn. Corn in and on EVERYTHING. 

Other things worth mentioning:

1. We have a school pet. It’s a kitten named Meonji which means “dust” in Korean. I’m obsessed.
2. I love my city. It is the perfect combination of city and nature. There is so much green. We’ll see how long it lasts.
3. I really love my coworkers. There are 3 from South Africa and 3 from America!

Anyways, it’s been a crazy week. I went from staying in a nice hotel to moving into an apartment. I now know my way from home to school and how to get a few different places all within walking distance. I went from shadowing to teaching. I went from knowing 0 Korean to now knowing how to say hello, goodbye, please, thank you, yes, no, 1, here, and I don’t understand. Everything is changing so quickly and I’m feeling pretty settled in already! I can’t wait to talk to you guys about what happens next!

Peace & Love,

Anna

Set Back or Set Up?

Okay update time! My move has been pushed back. Things were coming down to the wire and in the end didn’t go the way I would have hoped. Here’s the rundown:

So basically, I had to get an FBI background check and I didn’t pass. Just kidding. I got the background check done and was emailed my results in a password protected zip file. This is the new way that the US likes to do it because it’s faster and more efficient. Unfortunately, this is not the way Korea likes to do it! After deliberating and having my program director visit their office multiple times for hours on end, they rejected the document. They needed it to be printed out on a different kind of paper with a watermark instead of just on normal copy paper. For whatever reason, they could not verify it’s validity without this special paper. Yeah, my move is postponed because of one single piece of paper thats texture was incorrect…

This is frustrating because:

1. I was supposed to go to LA to get my visa as soon as this was approved.
2. I couldn’t communicate with people in Korea until night time so I wouldn’t know if I was going to LA until the night before.
3. I had been speculating which day it was going to be and organizing my work schedule around it.
4. It kept taking longer so I had to keep switching around my schedule.
5. I was mentally prepared to be leaving the country in 11 days.
6. After I got the document originally done, I have to apostille it which means someone in the US government has to verify the validity of the document and sign off on it ( so the paper shouldn’t matter because it’s already been signed off on).
7. And I have to reprocess a document which I have already correctly processed just to have it printed on a different type of paper.
8. Usually it takes 10-12 weeks to get this document by mail.

You can see how disheartening this would be which is why I spent the night crying and being upset. The immediate thought that crossed through my mind was “Maybe this means I shouldn’t go”. I was looking for an “out” because to be quite honest, the closer the day came the more nervous I was getting.

I had to stop and ask myself “What is the lesson here? Why is this hurdle being placed in my life?” Not to toot my own horn but I have recently discovered I am very good being self-aware and recognizing patterns in my life, and then I saw it.

Pattern: I spontaneously decide I want something. I sign up for it. It gets difficult. I don’t want it anymore.

Why is my first thought when something gets hard to quit?

I wasn’t expecting to learn any lessons before I even got to Korea, but then I realized…

When I’m there in a brand new environment and culture with brand new coworkers and personalities, many moments will be like this. My expectations will not always be met. I will be disappointed at times. Deadlines will change. Will I run home as soon as something doesn’t go my way?

Here’s where having good friends comes into play. I called my friend Amanda and she talked sense into me. “The Universe has perfect timing and you have to believe that this is all happening because it’s the best possible way.” I have to think of it as a set- up for something better instead of a set-back. I just have to detach myself from the result. As Tony Robbins says, “Trade expectation for appreciation”. I was upset, but I let go. It instantly worked miracles.

Yesterday, when I went to the get my fingerprints redone for the background check, the channeler ended up giving me the redo for free because she was sympathetic to my situation. She also found a way that would only take a few days instead of the 12 weeks it should have. As soon as I let go of what should happen, things started falling into place quickly. I have hope that everything will be resolved soon and I will be on the plane in no-time.

Que sera, sera!

Peace & Love,

Anna

Interviewing Myself- Pre-Departure

When I was in 7th grade, my mom never let me have a myspace (see my 7th grade selfie above). I used to fill out those surveys and post them from my friends’ accounts because I wanted to hint at everyone that I liked a boy. It was like the 2007 version of subtweeting.

Anyways, here I am interviewing myself with questions gathered from the internet as well as from some of you! I want to answer these questions for myself. All these answers are completely truthful and raw. I think it’s important to share my real actual feelings about a matter of things with you all because social media can be so deceiving these days. Mostly, I want to re-answer these question in a years time to see how my answers change as a result of my experience in Korea. Enjoy!

1. Where are you right now? What are you doing?

Currently, it’s 6:53 am. I am in San Diego sitting on the couch of the family I nanny for writing this blog post and drinking a venti iced coffee with soy milk.  I’m wearing a YMCA half zip sweatshirt, blue striped workout pants, two different socks, my hair in a bun, and zero make up.

2. What does a day in your life look like?

Right now, a day in my life is waking up at 5:30 am, running out the door to make it to work by 6 am, sitting on the couch until the girls wake up at 8:30, and doing nanny duties (such as cooking and going to the swimming pool) until about 4pm. I usually sit and talk with their mom for about 30 minutes before driving home and throwing together a dinner (last night was PB&J). Then, I sit in my bed and watch Youtube until I fall asleep around 9:30 and do it all over again. On the weekend, I typically wake up around 7 am, make myself banana protein pancakes with peanut butter, go to my parents’s house, play with my dogs, watch my brother’s basketball game, and then go home and watch Youtube.

I watch a lot of Youtube.

3. What is your relationship status? How do you feel about it?

I am currently and newly single. At first it was easy, I was in Peru experiencing some of the most magnificent things of my life. Then, I came home to the apartment where we used to live together and it hurt. I very much still live in our space which I think is the hardest part. Some days the fog takes over and I start to forget why I ended things and essentially inflicted this horrifying pain on myself. Most days I am clear and feel good. Even when it hurts, I know I made the right decision for my life right now. I have been focusing on me and picking up old hobbies I used to work on before I got into a relationship. I am trying to focus on the present instead of past or future.

4. Are you happy? 

Right now, I feel content. I have been feeling as if I’m living for the future which is to be expected because I’m moving across the world and can’t stop wondering what it will be like. I feel like I’ve been distracted and seeing this question has really caused me to think about it. I am grateful and blessed therefore in this moment I am happy. I think happiness fleeting; I am searching for joy and peace which I feel that I have.

5. What interpersonal skills would you like to develop? 

The three skills I would most like to more fully develop are being flexible, listening more frequently and attentively, and accepting feedback more graciously. I think I have become more flexible recently, but I know that going into my new job in Korea I will have to be very flexible. The culture of business is much different and will take time to adjust to; therefore, I will have to be patient and understanding. Secondly, we all know I am a talker. I love filling silence with my own sound. I am working on only talking when necessary because I think a lot of my loudness comes from insecurity and need to be felt. I want to be a good listener. Finally, I have real trouble accepting feedback. I hate to be critiqued. It makes me very uncomfortable to hear someone telling me I can improve; it sounds like “You’ve failed” to me. I want to be able to hear from a different perspective. I know we can always and should always want to improve.

6. What are your beliefs?

The number one belief I hold right now is that everyone (the vast majority) of people are doing what they think is the right thing to do. What I mean by that is nobody is trying to hurt other people whether it be politically or personally everyone operates on their truths. Truth is subjective obviously. We create our truth and truths can change. It helps me to keep positive and respectful when dealing with others who may have differing truths from mine. Everyone is doing what they think is the best thing for their lives. The second belief I have, which goes hand and hand with the former, is the only thing we can control is our own feelings. We will never be able to control what happens to us or what others say or do. We can simply only control our reaction. It is a lifelong practice.

7. What are you most proud of in your life?

I am most proud of myself. Over the past few years, I have done so many difficult things and grown so much. I have lost over 60 pounds, completely changed my mindset to a more positive one, created so much opportunity for myself, done uncomfortable things, spread more love, surrounded myself with a more positive peer group, and I WALKED ON FIRE. I just could have never seen my life where it is now. I am proud that I am learning to embrace change and fear.

8. How do you picture your life a year from now?

A year from I picture myself writing this in my studio apartment maybe on the 17th floor of a tall building, in the middle of a bustling city. I will have almost completed one year in Korea as a new teacher.  I will probably be exhausted but be sad at the thought of leaving my kids. I picture myself with new friends from around the world and possibly a new relationship. I think I will have committed to another year abroad. If not, I think I will be applying for graduate school for linguistics probably not in San Diego, maybe a different country altogether.

9. How easy/ difficult do you assume the assimilation process will be? How long will it take?

I think the assimilation process will go something like this:

1. First few month: This is a fun vacation!!!
2. Second/third month: I have it all figured out.
3. 4-7 months in: WTF am I doing here?! I know nothing.
4. 8-12 months: Can I stay another year?

It may also go nothing like that but this is my assumption.

I think certain facets will be easier than others. I assume language will be the biggest barrier and hurdle.  In Portugal, I felt that I assimilated almost immediately despite the language barrier. Peru took me longer because of the poverty level and safety concerns I had. Korea will be different because there is no Roman alphabet and I am not coming home after one month.

10. What will you miss the most about home?

In all honesty, I am most sad to leave my dogs. I know this sounds crazy but hear me out. My family will know where I am, why I have left, and I can still communicate with them. My dogs have no idea. I hate the idea that they might think I’m gone forever or even worse that they could forget me!

I will also really miss lazy weekends with my family and going to my brother’s basketball games.

11. What do you want to discover about yourself in the next year?

Like most people my age, I am going through the post-grad “Who the hell am I and what do I want?” phase. I think the biggest struggle I’m currently dealing with in that realm is marriage vs. single and free life. I know this seems crazy since I’m 23 and not in a relationship but it’s something I want more clarity on. Part of me wants that perfect family. I want to bring breakfast in bed to my husband and babies, be the perfect stay at home mom, wife, etc. I know it’s unreasonable and there is no perfect family, but I want it so badly. The other part of me and my wild Sagittarius heart thinks that no two people can actually be happy together forever. No one can promise infinite love without knowing the future and what lies ahead (which none of us do). This part of me wants the adventure, the experience, the infatuation stage forever with as many people as possible, never settling. I’m trying to focus on not rushing and taking it one day at a time, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want clarity for myself. Especially since whatever I decide is ultimately something I need to bring to the table and be upfront about in future relationships. Of course, I could fall madly in love any day, and my views on this could change immediately.

I’m sure this is all part of the becoming an adult thing – thinking I have to have it all figured out.

 

12. What advice would you give yourself one year ago?

Trust your instincts EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO EVEN WHEN IT’S THE SEEMINGLY HARDER CHOICE. You can fight so many things but not yourself. It is the most tiring battle. It will take more work to undo what you’ve done to yourself than doing what you are trying to avoid. Once it’s done you will feel peace, don’t delay that relief just to avoid pain. Trust yourself.

13. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned in life to date?

1.That you have to work on yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, you can change it.

2. If nothing ever changed, we would be just as unhappy.  In the past, I focused so much on trying to keep things the same because change scared me, but imagine if nothing ever changed. We would be so bored and probably more unhappy. It’s because happiness comes from growth, and growth comes with pain! They go hand in hand.

I just blew my own mind I think.

14. What do you want to have achieved one year from now?

In one year, I want to have stayed in Korea for one year. I know that seems repetitive and self-explanatory but what I really mean is: I don’t want to give up. I want to fight through the pain and the loneliness. In situations of fight or flight, I tend to be a flight-er. This time I want to be a fighter. I want to have seen many more countries, made new friends, successfully have taught my own class for the first time. I would also like to have kept up with this blog and really document my experiences!

15.Write the words you need to hear.

Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today. Embrace uncertainty and change. Nothing will ever stay the same forever. Learn to roll with it. Take each day as it comes and be grateful for what it brings. Live one day at a time.

Que sera, sera!

 

UPDATE: WHERE I’VE BEEN AND WHERE I’M GOING (Moving Abroad)

So I’ve decided to put finger to keyboard once more. I recently started a Youtube channel to document my travels and my experience with finding a job abroad. I am loving it but I know I can express myself best and most fully through writing so I thought the (Youtube & blogging; visual & written) would make a good pair.

If you’re already following this blog, you will have noticed a change in content. This used to be my fitness blog. I plan to keep streams of that coming as I integrate and adjust to my new life abroad. If you are both a traveler and a health junkie, check out my Youtube channel where I just posted a video about how to stay healthy while traveling!

To answer a few questions you may already have at this point, I am moving to Changwon, South Korea in approximately one month ( approx. because I don’t have my ticket yet because trying to get a visa is an extensive process)! My first day of work is in exactly 32 days but I want to head over a little early to allow myself time to adjust before getting into the craziness that will be teaching kindergarten (Does that answer the second question?) Yes, I will be teaching a group of little munchkins for one year abroad. I will have a Korean co-teacher in my classroom who will help with translations and talking to parents since I do not speak one lick of Korean. Okay I actually know two words: “breakfast” and “thank you” but you can see how that would not last me long in a classroom setting.

To answer what I am assuming is your most burning question: “Anna, WHY would you leave San Diego the city you’ve always lived in with perfect weather, a cheap apartment, an ocean view, and a job offer to go somewhere else that doesn’t even have a Roman alphabetic system and is most known for the grilling of large amounts of meat when you are a vegetarian?”

To be short, I have no fricking idea. To be long, I have lived in San Diego my whole life and although it is without a doubt the most perfect place one can live. It’s time. One day you wake up and you’re 23 and 1/2 and realize all your friends stayed in the cities they went to college in and you are the only one left and somehow you start to feel bored and alone in your own hometown. One day you wake up and you’re 23 and 1/2 realize one day you won’t be 23 and 1/2 and you are going to want to settle down with a family and cute babies so you have to get this shit (shit=travel) out of your system now. Lastly and most importantly BECAUSE I’M SCARED. Staying in San Diego isn’t scary to me anymore which means I’m not growing. I’ve done what I can here in this city- kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, moving out, working. At least at this point in my life, I don’t feel like I can grow here anymore. I’m learning to fall in love with the unpredictability of life. I try to imagine my new life in Korea but I know it will all go differently than I imagine. It could all go horribly or perfectly but it will be a new experience either way. I’m chasing it whole-heartedly.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this lengthy post about my crazy life.

If you want to follow along feel free to join me on any of my social media below ❤

Instagram

Youtube

 

Peace & Love,

Anna