One Month in Korea

Yes, you read that right. Somehow I’ve already been here for 30 days. It feels like it’s been  longer but simultaneously the month has flown by. It’s crazy how settled I feel in such a short amount of time. I am already adjusted to my daily routine which I’m grateful allows me to sleep in until 7:30 (a luxury I’ve never had before). As someone who enjoys the morning, I’m so glad I’m able to wake up slowly and take my time getting ready before heading into work at 9.

The first few hours of my day is spent teaching my kinder class. I teach them phonics and do workbook activities with them before switching to another kindergarten class to teach reading comprehension. Then I come back to my class and teach them reading comprehension as well. Somewhere in between those classes I get a lunch break which starts by eating Korean “cafeteria” food. Cafeteria is in quotations because it’s nothing like American school lunch. There is rice every single day and some variation of meat, vegetables, and soup (no hot dogs, pizza, or burger to be found). After lunch, I continue teaching for about an hour before my kids get ready to go home. Recently added into this routine is braiding my girls’ hair. I did it once (now they request it every day) and if I braid for one of them I must braid for all. I don’t complain though because I love that it makes them feel so special and it makes me feel special too. I always have to take a picture of it so they can see what it looks like.

Once they leave, the afternoon classes start. These classes are about 40 minutes long and focus on different subjects. I have same two second grade girls every day and teach them reading, math, and writing. I love that it’s just us three. I’m getting to know them really well and they are so sweet. This week I picked up a new class later in the day for reading and writing. They are goofy and full of energy. We get along very well.

While you’re reading this it may seem like a lot of teaching, which it is. But, I do also have a lot of down time in between to work on class decorations or any prep work. This week has been crafty with Halloween coming up. I prefer to teach though since it makes the day go by more quickly.

Here’s a photo of my little monsters with their jack-o-lantern faces that they cut and glued themselves. You can also see a bit of our decor.

At 6 pm, I practically run home. I can’t wait to eat and do as little as possible for the rest of the night. My work is not very difficult but the days are extremely long and draining ( as any teacher knows).

I have to also give a shout out to my amazing co-teacher! She is probably reading this! If you are, Sunny you are so amazing! You guys, seriously, I cannot believe how hard she works every single day for our students. She is an incredible partner, huge help to me, and a great friend to have during my time here. After work one night this week we went to the store to buy decorations for our class, but we took our time. We went to dinner and she even took the time to let me grocery shop and buy stuff for my home before driving me back home! Oh, and she bought me ice cream! I am truly so lucky!

If there is anything I can say that is a testament to how happy and at peace I feel here so far, it would be this, I haven’t been biting my nails. Those who know me well know I have been an obsessive anxious nail biter for my entire life. I am pleased to say that typing this feels weird right now because my nails are actually pressing the keys before my fingers. Truly, this is a good sign.

Anyways, I am so grateful for all I have experienced in such a short time. I have already visited many different cities and have many big plans in the works. Tomorrow, I am going to a lantern festival. Next weekend, I am going to the DMZ and one of the highest mountains in Korea and in a few weeks I’m going to an apple festival with a friend (who I met in Portugal) who is studying abroad here! There is definitely no shortage of things to do in this country.

Thank you for the constant support I have received over the past month and the interest in my crazy journey. I truly appreciate every reader, Facebook like, Youtube view, etc.

1 down. 11 to go. Let the adventure continue.

Peace & Love,

Anna

Interviewing Myself- Pre-Departure

When I was in 7th grade, my mom never let me have a myspace (see my 7th grade selfie above). I used to fill out those surveys and post them from my friends’ accounts because I wanted to hint at everyone that I liked a boy. It was like the 2007 version of subtweeting.

Anyways, here I am interviewing myself with questions gathered from the internet as well as from some of you! I want to answer these questions for myself. All these answers are completely truthful and raw. I think it’s important to share my real actual feelings about a matter of things with you all because social media can be so deceiving these days. Mostly, I want to re-answer these question in a years time to see how my answers change as a result of my experience in Korea. Enjoy!

1. Where are you right now? What are you doing?

Currently, it’s 6:53 am. I am in San Diego sitting on the couch of the family I nanny for writing this blog post and drinking a venti iced coffee with soy milk.  I’m wearing a YMCA half zip sweatshirt, blue striped workout pants, two different socks, my hair in a bun, and zero make up.

2. What does a day in your life look like?

Right now, a day in my life is waking up at 5:30 am, running out the door to make it to work by 6 am, sitting on the couch until the girls wake up at 8:30, and doing nanny duties (such as cooking and going to the swimming pool) until about 4pm. I usually sit and talk with their mom for about 30 minutes before driving home and throwing together a dinner (last night was PB&J). Then, I sit in my bed and watch Youtube until I fall asleep around 9:30 and do it all over again. On the weekend, I typically wake up around 7 am, make myself banana protein pancakes with peanut butter, go to my parents’s house, play with my dogs, watch my brother’s basketball game, and then go home and watch Youtube.

I watch a lot of Youtube.

3. What is your relationship status? How do you feel about it?

I am currently and newly single. At first it was easy, I was in Peru experiencing some of the most magnificent things of my life. Then, I came home to the apartment where we used to live together and it hurt. I very much still live in our space which I think is the hardest part. Some days the fog takes over and I start to forget why I ended things and essentially inflicted this horrifying pain on myself. Most days I am clear and feel good. Even when it hurts, I know I made the right decision for my life right now. I have been focusing on me and picking up old hobbies I used to work on before I got into a relationship. I am trying to focus on the present instead of past or future.

4. Are you happy? 

Right now, I feel content. I have been feeling as if I’m living for the future which is to be expected because I’m moving across the world and can’t stop wondering what it will be like. I feel like I’ve been distracted and seeing this question has really caused me to think about it. I am grateful and blessed therefore in this moment I am happy. I think happiness fleeting; I am searching for joy and peace which I feel that I have.

5. What interpersonal skills would you like to develop? 

The three skills I would most like to more fully develop are being flexible, listening more frequently and attentively, and accepting feedback more graciously. I think I have become more flexible recently, but I know that going into my new job in Korea I will have to be very flexible. The culture of business is much different and will take time to adjust to; therefore, I will have to be patient and understanding. Secondly, we all know I am a talker. I love filling silence with my own sound. I am working on only talking when necessary because I think a lot of my loudness comes from insecurity and need to be felt. I want to be a good listener. Finally, I have real trouble accepting feedback. I hate to be critiqued. It makes me very uncomfortable to hear someone telling me I can improve; it sounds like “You’ve failed” to me. I want to be able to hear from a different perspective. I know we can always and should always want to improve.

6. What are your beliefs?

The number one belief I hold right now is that everyone (the vast majority) of people are doing what they think is the right thing to do. What I mean by that is nobody is trying to hurt other people whether it be politically or personally everyone operates on their truths. Truth is subjective obviously. We create our truth and truths can change. It helps me to keep positive and respectful when dealing with others who may have differing truths from mine. Everyone is doing what they think is the best thing for their lives. The second belief I have, which goes hand and hand with the former, is the only thing we can control is our own feelings. We will never be able to control what happens to us or what others say or do. We can simply only control our reaction. It is a lifelong practice.

7. What are you most proud of in your life?

I am most proud of myself. Over the past few years, I have done so many difficult things and grown so much. I have lost over 60 pounds, completely changed my mindset to a more positive one, created so much opportunity for myself, done uncomfortable things, spread more love, surrounded myself with a more positive peer group, and I WALKED ON FIRE. I just could have never seen my life where it is now. I am proud that I am learning to embrace change and fear.

8. How do you picture your life a year from now?

A year from I picture myself writing this in my studio apartment maybe on the 17th floor of a tall building, in the middle of a bustling city. I will have almost completed one year in Korea as a new teacher.  I will probably be exhausted but be sad at the thought of leaving my kids. I picture myself with new friends from around the world and possibly a new relationship. I think I will have committed to another year abroad. If not, I think I will be applying for graduate school for linguistics probably not in San Diego, maybe a different country altogether.

9. How easy/ difficult do you assume the assimilation process will be? How long will it take?

I think the assimilation process will go something like this:

1. First few month: This is a fun vacation!!!
2. Second/third month: I have it all figured out.
3. 4-7 months in: WTF am I doing here?! I know nothing.
4. 8-12 months: Can I stay another year?

It may also go nothing like that but this is my assumption.

I think certain facets will be easier than others. I assume language will be the biggest barrier and hurdle.  In Portugal, I felt that I assimilated almost immediately despite the language barrier. Peru took me longer because of the poverty level and safety concerns I had. Korea will be different because there is no Roman alphabet and I am not coming home after one month.

10. What will you miss the most about home?

In all honesty, I am most sad to leave my dogs. I know this sounds crazy but hear me out. My family will know where I am, why I have left, and I can still communicate with them. My dogs have no idea. I hate the idea that they might think I’m gone forever or even worse that they could forget me!

I will also really miss lazy weekends with my family and going to my brother’s basketball games.

11. What do you want to discover about yourself in the next year?

Like most people my age, I am going through the post-grad “Who the hell am I and what do I want?” phase. I think the biggest struggle I’m currently dealing with in that realm is marriage vs. single and free life. I know this seems crazy since I’m 23 and not in a relationship but it’s something I want more clarity on. Part of me wants that perfect family. I want to bring breakfast in bed to my husband and babies, be the perfect stay at home mom, wife, etc. I know it’s unreasonable and there is no perfect family, but I want it so badly. The other part of me and my wild Sagittarius heart thinks that no two people can actually be happy together forever. No one can promise infinite love without knowing the future and what lies ahead (which none of us do). This part of me wants the adventure, the experience, the infatuation stage forever with as many people as possible, never settling. I’m trying to focus on not rushing and taking it one day at a time, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want clarity for myself. Especially since whatever I decide is ultimately something I need to bring to the table and be upfront about in future relationships. Of course, I could fall madly in love any day, and my views on this could change immediately.

I’m sure this is all part of the becoming an adult thing – thinking I have to have it all figured out.

 

12. What advice would you give yourself one year ago?

Trust your instincts EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO EVEN WHEN IT’S THE SEEMINGLY HARDER CHOICE. You can fight so many things but not yourself. It is the most tiring battle. It will take more work to undo what you’ve done to yourself than doing what you are trying to avoid. Once it’s done you will feel peace, don’t delay that relief just to avoid pain. Trust yourself.

13. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned in life to date?

1.That you have to work on yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, you can change it.

2. If nothing ever changed, we would be just as unhappy.  In the past, I focused so much on trying to keep things the same because change scared me, but imagine if nothing ever changed. We would be so bored and probably more unhappy. It’s because happiness comes from growth, and growth comes with pain! They go hand in hand.

I just blew my own mind I think.

14. What do you want to have achieved one year from now?

In one year, I want to have stayed in Korea for one year. I know that seems repetitive and self-explanatory but what I really mean is: I don’t want to give up. I want to fight through the pain and the loneliness. In situations of fight or flight, I tend to be a flight-er. This time I want to be a fighter. I want to have seen many more countries, made new friends, successfully have taught my own class for the first time. I would also like to have kept up with this blog and really document my experiences!

15.Write the words you need to hear.

Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today. Embrace uncertainty and change. Nothing will ever stay the same forever. Learn to roll with it. Take each day as it comes and be grateful for what it brings. Live one day at a time.

Que sera, sera!