Coron-tined

Well, what started as funny meme content has turned to real life all too quickly. Let me start with a quick timeline of events.

Monday, March 9, 2020: It was a normal day. I went to school and did my private after-school class before going to meet a new couple who wanted English lessons. We sat outside on a teraza, drinking and chatting about current events. At this point, the number of Covid-19 cases had been rising at an only mildly alarming rate. We talked about how schools we’re talking about closing, but nothing was sure yet. At the end of our hour long class, I checked my phone. “I have forty messages,” I told them. “So popular,” they joked. I called my friend Cath on my way to meet her for diner, “Are you already there?” I asked. I was running behind. “No, I’m just leaving. I was watching the news.” I didn’t think anything of it, until 5 minutes into our conversation she says, “Oh, you still don’t know…” Within the hour I was teaching, all schools in Madrid had been closed due to the virus. We were left with a series of questions and not a lot of answers. All we knew was the next day we were supposed to come in, and starting Wednesday the kids were staying home.

Tuesday, March 10,  2020: Tuesday was more-or-less normal. I still had to work. I finally called my mom to let her know what was going on. The week before I had received a text  from her asking me to come home for the next six months until everything blew over. I calmed her fears and my own, “Everyone’s overreacting,” until suddenly they’re not. I decided it was best to stay here and ride it out. The kids were a bit crazy, as any kid who was just gifted a so-called two-week vacation would be. The news was still saying that teachers had to come into work without the students, so I went.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020: We had basically been told that we would be able to work from home. So I marched into work, expecting to receive instructions on what I could do at home. Then an inspector called and said all teachers were still required to come into work. The teachers were angry and complained, rightfully so. Why would we need to expose ourselves to the germs in the school and public transport,  if we could do our jobs from home? In typical Spanish fashion, we all went to the bar across the street instead of working. By the end of the day and tons of back and forth, it was confirmed that we could stay home.

Thursday, March 12, 2020: On this day, I realized the situation was bad, but was still partially in denial. I woke up to 2,000 cases in our tiny country. I did my quarantine-shop just in case. I kept calling it “my last day of freedom”. My friends and I hung out in the park and went to dinner. When I got home, I saw the hashtag #yomequedoencasa (I’m staying home) going around. I knew this is where we were heading. The next morning, the number of cases was at 3,200. This changed everything.

And basically, all of this leads up till now. I’ve watched 3,000 changed to 4,000, 4,000 to 5,000, and now just a few days later, we’re just shy of 8,000. As of tomorrow, the government has told us we cannot leave the house for basically any reason except groceries or the hospital. Everything is closed. The streets are empty, and I’m home watching everything happening in Italy as a “What to Expect” manual because I know we are only footsteps behind them. I’m bored out of my mind and am positive that I will not be back at work on March 26th (our current expected return date).

Selfishly, I’m sad because the most beautiful time in Madrid will now be spent inside. I’m not even supposed to see my friends and I’m scared of how everything will affect my mental-health. I like to stay busy. I like to move around. I’m scared I’ll have to leave Spain if this continues. I’m scared of the global impact on the economy and my personal financial situation. Most English teachers in Madrid make a good percentage of their income from private classes. This is where my spending money comes from. Of course, all of those classes have been canceled, and luckily, I have nothing to spend money on from inside my house.  But, I am scared by the uncertainty it all brings. I was supposed to be working in Italy this summer, that now seems like a  pipe-dream. I just landed a job that was supposed to keep me in Madrid next year. I started training last week and now everything is halted.

In spite of my whiny rant, I want to say how lucky I am. Lucky, that I get to stay home unlike grocery workers, pharmacists, doctors, nurses, etc. Lucky, that my main job will pay me during this month. Lucky, to be stuck in the city I love more than anything. Lucky, that I’m in good health, and that nobody I know has been affected yet.

As for my American friends,  listen to what they’re advising. It seems like the are being more proactive (compared to Spain and Italy which have been reactive). It seems silly now, but social-distance yourself before it’s mandatory. Hopefully, you can avoid some of this craziness. It can happen faster than you think.

Wash your hands,

Anna

 

3rd Annual Reflection Survey

This will be my 3rd annual introspective survey. Last year, it was about the lessons of my first year abroad. Now, I’ve completed my second year abroad in a completely different country. I’m excited to revisit my old answers and see what I’ve learned throughout the past year.

 1.Where are you right now? What are you doing?

2017: Currently, it’s 6:53 am. I am in San Diego sitting on the couch of the family I nanny for writing this blog post and drinking a venti iced coffee with soy milk.  I’m wearing a YMCA half zip sweatshirt, blue striped workout pants, two different socks, my hair in a bun, and zero make up.

2018: It’s 10:20 pm on a Sunday night. I’m in Changwon, South Korea. I’m looking for places to live in Madrid (where I move in 2.5 months). I am wearing a grey T-shirt and underwear and that’s it. Also, not sure why I felt the need to mention what I was wearing in the past because it is not part of the question.

2019: It’s 1:32 pm on a Friday afternoon. I’m in a cafe in Spain drinking iced coffee and dying from the sweltering heat, but more than happy to be back for my second year here.

2. What does a day in your life look like?

2017: Right now, a day in my life is waking up at 5:30 am, running out the door to make it to work by 6 am, sitting on the couch until the girls wake up at 8:30, and doing nanny duties (such as cooking and going to the swimming pool) until about 4pm. I usually sit and talk with their mom for about 30 minutes before driving home and throwing together a dinner (last night was PB&J). Then, I sit in my bed and watch Youtube until I fall asleep around 9:30 and do it all over again. On the weekend, I typically wake up around 7 am, make myself banana protein pancakes with peanut butter, go to my parents’s house, play with my dogs, watch my brother’s basketball game, and then go home and watch Youtube.

I watch a lot of Youtube.

2018: These days a normal day starts at 7:30 am. I get up and ready by 8:30. I usually grab a breakfast sandwich on my way to school. I start teaching at 9:10. I teach my kinder class until 2:30, then I teach elementary classes until 6:10 with some breaks in between. I get home by 6:40pm which gives me enough time to eat and relax before doing it all again. I still watch a lot of YouTube. I also started watching a lot of series on Netflix which I never did before.

(Currently obsessed with Orphan Black)

2019: A normal day (during the school year) starts at 7:30 am. I eat breakfast and head to the train station for my 35 minute commute to work. I stay working with my 4th and 5th graders until around 2pm. I come home for “lunch” at around 3 and a siesta before heading back out to do my private classes. Then, I have an evening walk home. Probably my favorite part of the day. Right now, I’m “funemployed” and on hunt for a summer job.

3. What is your relationships status? How do you feel about it?

2017: I am currently and newly single. At first it was easy, I was in Peru experiencing some of the most magnificent things of my life. Then, I came home to the apartment where we used to live together and it hurt. I very much still live in our space which I think is the hardest part. Some days the fog takes over and I start to forget why I ended things and essentially inflicted this horrifying pain on myself. Most days I am clear and feel good. Even when it hurts, I know I made the right decision for my life right now. I have been focusing on me and picking up old hobbies I used to work on before I got into a relationship. I am trying to focus on the present instead of past or future.

2018: I am so extremely single. I am still learning a lot about myself some of which needs to be figured out before I get into a relationship again. I am not actively dating or seeking any relationship but am open to what the universe has planned for me. It doesn’t feel like the right time because of my move to Spain. I never dated in Korea because I could always see the expiration date. My life seems very transitional at the moment which doesn’t seem conducive to a relationship. Of course there are times I miss the comfort of a relationship, but most days I am happy with my freedom.

2019: Still single (lol). The past year I have been more open to dating. I have gone on a few dates but find the cultural differences to be quite off-putting. I also find it odd to date in such a transitive stage of my life, but I am working on letting go of that. I am working on bettering myself so that when I do find the right person, I’m ready. Still enjoying being single.

4. Are you happy?

2017: Right now, I feel content. I have been feeling as if I’m living for the future which is to be expected because I’m moving across the world and can’t stop wondering what it will be like. I feel like I’ve been distracted and seeing this question has really caused me to think about it. I am grateful and blessed therefore in this moment I am happy. I think happiness fleeting; I am searching for joy and peace which I feel that I have.

2018: I am happy, but it is happiness I didn’t expect. It is the same happiness I felt before. I think I expected everything to be new, different, and full of joy but the truth is after living in another country for a year you become accustomed to your surroundings. Even though it’s only been a short time, you quickly remember that this is your life and just because you’re thousands of miles away doesn’t mean you’re on vacation. I experience so much joy every day spending time with my students who are truly my best friends in Korea. I am happy but it is a familiar feeling.

2019: Yes, I’m so happy. I am so grateful for the life I’ve built in Spain. Every time I walk through the city, I feel immensely grateful. My happiness stems from my gratitude. Of course, there are things that have happened that make me sad, but I have found joy in all the good which outweighs the bad.

5. What are your beliefs?

2017: The number one belief I hold right now is that everyone (the vast majority) of people are doing what they think is the right thing to do. What I mean by that is nobody is trying to hurt other people whether it be politically or personally everyone operates on their truths. Truth is subjective obviously. We create our truth and truths can change. It helps me to keep positive and respectful when dealing with others who may have differing truths from mine. Everyone is doing what they think is the best thing for their lives. The second belief I have, which goes hand and hand with the former, is the only thing we can control is our own feelings. We will never be able to control what happens to us or what others say or do. We can simply only control our reaction. It is a lifelong practice.

2018: I believe people come in and out of our lives for a reason. People bring us joy; they teach us lessons. Don’t force staying where you are. Force growth and challenges that will bring you rewarding people and opportunities.

2019: First of all, why did my belief from last year just smack me in the face? A year later and I still needed that. Now to answer the question…I believe that gratitude is the key to life, happiness, and self-acceptance. If you can live in a state of constant gratitude, bad things still happen, but you can learn from them and know that more good is coming.

6. What are you most proud of in your life?

2017: I am most proud of myself. Over the past few years, I have done so many difficult things and grown so much. I have lost over 60 pounds, completely changed my mindset to a more positive one, created so much opportunity for myself, done uncomfortable things, spread more love, surrounded myself with a more positive peer group, and I WALKED ON FIRE. I just could have never seen my life where it is now. I am proud that I am learning to embrace change and fear.

2018: I am proud of myself for persevering. I did a hard thing and I did it well. I am proud of myself for taking a risk and riding the waves of consequence that risk held for me. I saw many people who couldn’t do it and I’m happy that I did. I’m proud of myself for embracing and participating in a new culture, language, and lifestyle. I’m proud I didn’t quit when others did.

2019: I’m proud of myself for working hard to learn a skill. This past year I focused on learning Spanish. I read newspapers, books, took classes, and I have improved so much. I’ve also worked a lot on self-acceptance this year. I have a long ways to go but I’ve made big strides. I’m at peace with my body for the first time in a long time

7. How do you picture your life a year from now?

2017: A year from I picture myself writing this in my studio apartment maybe on the 17th floor of a tall building, in the middle of a bustling city. I will have almost completed one year in Korea as a new teacher.  I will probably be exhausted but be sad at the thought of leaving my kids. I picture myself with new friends from around the world and possibly a new relationship. I think I will have committed to another year abroad. If not, I think I will be applying for graduate school for linguistics probably not in San Diego, maybe a different country altogether.

2018: It’s so crazy to think how much in a year. Most of my predictions for this year were correct. I have so many new friends and am definitely dreading leaving my babies. By next year, I think I will have finished my new program in Spain. I think I will be applying for a Master’s program in Education/TEFL. It’s very possible that this could be abroad or an online program so I can travel.

2019: Currently enrolled in an online teaching certification program. Starting to think a psychic because my yearly predictions are getting pretty good. By next year, I think I will be studying for my teaching exams. In terms of location, I have no idea. I am going to get my EU passport this year which gives me more opportunity in Europe, but I can also see myself coming back to the states and settling somewhere with family in Colorado.

8. What advice would you give yourself one year ago?

2017: Trust your instincts EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO. EVEN WHEN IT’S THE SEEMINGLY HARDER CHOICE. You can fight so many things but not yourself. It is the most tiring battle. It will take more work to undo what you’ve done to yourself than doing what you are trying to avoid. Once it’s done you will feel peace, don’t delay that relief just to avoid pain. Trust yourself.

2018: Don’t hold on to the past. Don’t hold on to people who aren’t on your side. Embrace the newness and know what’s coming is so amazing. You will make friends with people from all over the world and from all walks of life. Whenever one door, closes another opens.

2019: It is impossible to avoid pain. You can try to avoid things like dating to keep yourself from getting hurt, but life has a funny way of sneaking it in anyways. So don’t be afraid and try everything. You’re going to get hurt anyway, and you might as well do it having fun.

9. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned in life to date?

2019: 1.That you have to work on yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, you can change it.

2. If nothing ever changed, we would be just as unhappy.  In the past, I focused so much on trying to keep things the same because change scared me, but imagine if nothing ever changed. We would be so bored and probably more unhappy. It’s because happiness comes from growth, and growth comes with pain! They go hand in hand.

I just blew my own mind I think.

2018: I still standby my previous comments but would like to add something. The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is that you can’t run away from your problems. I have met so many people who came here to escape things from back home (partially including myself). The truth is your life is your life no matter where you go and although changing your surroundings can be helpful, you can not escape anything (especially in this day and age with the technology that connects us).  Although it may nice to have a break from certain people and places, overall you either carry your problems with you or create new ones in your new home. The most important thing you can do is feel your feelings. Don’t ignore what you’re going through.

2019: Nothing lasts forever. Live in the present and fully enjoy each beautiful phase of your life. Be grateful. Mourn the changes but be open to new and equally amazing things.

10. What do you want to have achieved one year from now?

2017: In one year, I want to have stayed in Korea for one year. I know that seems repetitive and self-explanatory but what I really mean is: I don’t want to give up. I want to fight through the pain and the loneliness. In situations of fight or flight, I tend to be a flight-er. This time I want to be a fighter. I want to have seen many more countries, made new friends, successfully have taught my own class for the first time. I would also like to have kept up with this blog and really document my experiences!

2018: I hope by this time next year I am a high level Spanish speaker. My profesional goal for Spain is to increase my language abilities. Personally, I would like to continue coming out of my shell. In Korea, I definitely said “eff it” a lot and was able to let my guard down. I felt pretty confident in my skin but I would like to embrace myself even more. I would like to say yes to as many opportunities and experiences as I can. I hope I will have seen at least 5 more countries!

2019: I hope by next year I have completed my teaching program and found the correct next step for me whether in Spain or elsewhere. I hope I have gotten my German passport and continued increasing my Spanish level. I want to have a different but equally valuable experience. I would love to make it to the African continent by the end of next year.

 

11.Write the words you need to hear.

2017: Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today. Embrace uncertainty and change. Nothing will ever stay the same forever. Learn to roll with it. Take each day as it comes and be grateful for what it brings. Live one day at a time.

Que será, será!

2018: Everything will happen in it’s right time. Focus on now. Take it one day at a time. We can’t predict the future or change the past. Opportunities will reveal themselves in due time. Also, crying is okay and know that the reason you are struggling is because saying goodbye to people you love so fiercely is daunting but be glad you even had the opportunity to spread and receive that kind of love.

2019: Don’t apologize for who you truly are. Not everyone is going to love you but there are so many that do. Focus on those people.

 

Peace & Love,

Anna

What I’ve Learned About Living Abroad

Hello everyone! I thought I’d take the time to list out 5 of the most important things I learned about living abroad over the past year. Let’s get into it.

1. It can be exhausting (especially with communication barriers)

Let’s face it! Most people love the sound of a year abroad. It’s like a big vacation right!? Wrong. Have you ever spent an hour online trying to order pizza in a different language only to eventually give up? Have you ever purposely avoided going to the grocery store because you have a pimple and you know people will be staring at you simply because you’re a foreigner? Have you ever been caught in a torrential downpour without an umbrella when your bus is half an hour away? These are just some of the hardships I’ve faced living abroad specially somewhere where you can’t speak the language! Some days you just want to blend in, but you always stick out like a sore thumb: Nothing is easy and everything takes an extra layer of thought.

2. Traveling is real world education.

The school of life, ladies and gents! In conjunction with number one, having these experiences forces you to grow as a person. You are constantly growing and evolving. I remember how amazing it felt when I mastered the routine of going to the grocery store.

First, they are going to ask you if you want a bag. Next, they take your card. Lastly, you say the four numbers for your point card. Just four Korean numbers. You can do this Anna. Whew. Nailed it.

I saw a post recently that compared traveling to being in kindergarten again. “Your whole life becomes a series of interesting guesses.” Everything is scary and you have no idea what you’re doing, but once you figure it out you feel immense joy.

3. You can feel people’s energy without speaking the same language.

I learned this with many of the Korean teachers at my school. Most of them have a beginner’s level of English so our communication is minimal when we don’t have one of the bilingual teachers around to translate. There’s so many times I wish we could communicate more clearly because I just know we would be great friends. I feel like we already are. I have always seen myself as someone who can read others well, but I definitely think my senses are heightened after a year abroad.

4. It’s a transient lifestyle.

There is no getting comfortable in life abroad. There where a few times here where I thought I was (Little did I know the rug was about to be pulled out from under me). The first moment I can think of came 4 months after arriving where my co-teacher left the school. She was my best friend and I was horrified and devastated. Then a few months later, my best friend in Korea left and went back home to South Africa. All of the sudden, I was the longest working foreign teacher at my school. I had to be a leader and without my partner in crime. It’s hard to feel settled when things keep changing. As an expat, friends will come and go. As a teacher in a hagwon, workers will come and go. Nothing has any sense of permanence here.

5. Homes are where you make them.

That being said, your new country will become your home. And home will be home too. As an expat, you will spread your heart far and wide. This is the most beautiful and heart breaking part of the whole experience. Over the year, I have left parts of my heart in many places. Japan and Taiwan got small chunks of my heart as I solo-ventured and fell in love with them. South Africa got another piece of my heart with the friends I made that went home. The largest portion will stay in Korea and more specially with my students. I am struggling with saying goodbye because Korea truly does feel like home to me. I am so grateful to have met so many amazing people that make saying bye so difficult.

I hope you enjoyed and got some insight into my journey abroad.

Peace & Love,

Anna

Answering the Same Questions (One Year Later)

One year ago, I answered a list of questions to compare my life before and after living in Korea. Does moving to the other side of the world really change your life as much as you think it will? Just because you’re chasing a new opportunity, will you magically be happy all the time? These were my questions. Here are the results.

These questions were answered a few weeks ago. I have been formatting and editing this post since which is why some of the timing may not make sense for the present day/time.

1.Where are you right now? What are you doing?

Before: Currently, it’s 6:53 am. I am in San Diego sitting on the couch of the family I nanny for writing this blog post and drinking a venti iced coffee with soy milk.  I’m wearing a YMCA half zip sweatshirt, blue striped workout pants, two different socks, my hair in a bun, and zero make up.

Currently: It’s 10:20 pm on a Sunday night. I’m in Changwon, South Korea. I’m looking for places to live in Madrid (where I move in 2.5 months). I am wearing a grey T-shirt and underwear and that’s it. Also, not sure why I felt the need to mention what I was wearing in the past because it is not part of the question.

2. What does a day in your life look like?

Before: Right now, a day in my life is waking up at 5:30 am, running out the door to make it to work by 6 am, sitting on the couch until the girls wake up at 8:30, and doing nanny duties (such as cooking and going to the swimming pool) until about 4pm. I usually sit and talk with their mom for about 30 minutes before driving home and throwing together a dinner (last night was PB&J). Then, I sit in my bed and watch Youtube until I fall asleep around 9:30 and do it all over again. On the weekend, I typically wake up around 7 am, make myself banana protein pancakes with peanut butter, go to my parents’s house, play with my dogs, watch my brother’s basketball game, and then go home and watch Youtube.

I watch a lot of Youtube.

Currently: These days a normal day starts at 7:30 am. I get up and ready by 8:30. I usually grab a breakfast sandwich on my way to school. I start teaching at 9:10. I teach my kinder class until 2:30, then I teach elementary classes until 6:10 with some breaks in between. I get home by 6:40pm which gives me enough time to eat and relax before doing it all again. I still watch a lot of YouTube. I also started watching a lot of series on Netflix which I never did before.

(Currently obsessed with Orphan Black)

3. What is your relationships status? How do you feel about it?

Before: I am currently and newly single. At first it was easy, I was in Peru experiencing some of the most magnificent things of my life. Then, I came home to the apartment where we used to live together and it hurt. I very much still live in our space which I think is the hardest part. Some days the fog takes over and I start to forget why I ended things and essentially inflicted this horrifying pain on myself. Most days I am clear and feel good. Even when it hurts, I know I made the right decision for my life right now. I have been focusing on me and picking up old hobbies I used to work on before I got into a relationship. I am trying to focus on the present instead of past or future.

Currently: I am so extremely single. I am still learning a lot about myself some of which needs to be figured out before I get into a relationship again. I am not actively dating or seeking any relationship but am open to what the universe has planned for me. It doesn’t feel like the right time because of my move to Spain. I never dated in Korea because I could always see the expiration date. My life seems very transitional at the moment which doesn’t seem conducive to a relationship. Of course there are times I miss the comfort of a relationship, but most days I am happy with my freedom.

4. Are you happy?

 Before: Right now, I feel content. I have been feeling as if I’m living for the future which is to be expected because I’m moving across the world and can’t stop wondering what it will be like. I feel like I’ve been distracted and seeing this question has really caused me to think about it. I am grateful and blessed therefore in this moment I am happy. I think happiness fleeting; I am searching for joy and peace which I feel that I have.

Currently: I am happy, but it is happiness I didn’t expect. It is the same happiness I felt before. I think I expected everything to be new, different, and full of joy but the truth is after living in another country for a year you become accustomed to your surroundings. Even though it’s only been a short time, you quickly remember that this is your life and just because you’re thousands of miles away doesn’t mean you’re on vacation. I experience so much joy every day spending time with my students who are truly my best friends in Korea. I am happy but it is a familiar feeling.

5. What are your beliefs?

Before: The number one belief I hold right now is that everyone (the vast majority) of people are doing what they think is the right thing to do. What I mean by that is nobody is trying to hurt other people whether it be politically or personally everyone operates on their truths. Truth is subjective obviously. We create our truth and truths can change. It helps me to keep positive and respectful when dealing with others who may have differing truths from mine. Everyone is doing what they think is the best thing for their lives. The second belief I have, which goes hand and hand with the former, is the only thing we can control is our own feelings. We will never be able to control what happens to us or what others say or do. We can simply only control our reaction. It is a lifelong practice.

Currently: I believe people come in and out of our lives for a reason. People bring us joy; they teach us lessons. Don’t force staying where you are. Force growth and challenges that will bring you rewarding people are opportunities.

6. What are you most proud of in your life?

Before: I am most proud of myself. Over the past few years, I have done so many difficult things and grown so much. I have lost over 60 pounds, completely changed my mindset to a more positive one, created so much opportunity for myself, done uncomfortable things, spread more love, surrounded myself with a more positive peer group, and I WALKED ON FIRE. I just could have never seen my life where it is now. I am proud that I am learning to embrace change and fear.

Currently: I am proud of myself for persevering. I did a hard thing and I did it well. I am proud of myself for taking a risk and riding the waves of consequence that risk held for me. I saw many people who couldn’t do it and I’m happy that I did. I’m proud of myself for embracing and participating in a new culture, language, and lifestyle. I’m proud I didn’t quit when others did.

7. How do you picture your life a year from now?

Before: A year from I picture myself writing this in my studio apartment maybe on the 17th floor of a tall building, in the middle of a bustling city. I will have almost completed one year in Korea as a new teacher.  I will probably be exhausted but be sad at the thought of leaving my kids. I picture myself with new friends from around the world and possibly a new relationship. I think I will have committed to another year abroad. If not, I think I will be applying for graduate school for linguistics probably not in San Diego, maybe a different country altogether.

Currently: It’s so crazy to think how much in a year. Most of my predictions for this year were correct. I have so many new friends and am definitely dreading leaving my babies. By next year, I think I will have finished my new program in Spain. I think I will be applying for a Master’s program in Education/TEFL. It’s very possible that this could be abroad or an online program so I can travel.

8. What advice would you give yourself one year ago?

Before: Trust your instincts EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO. EVEN WHEN IT’S THE SEEMINGLY HARDER CHOICE. You can fight so many things but not yourself. It is the most tiring battle. It will take more work to undo what you’ve done to yourself than doing what you are trying to avoid. Once it’s done you will feel peace, don’t delay that relief just to avoid pain. Trust yourself.

Currently: Don’t hold on to the past. Don’t hold on to people who aren’t on your side. Embrace the newness and know what’s coming is so amazing. You will make friends with people from all over the world and from all walks of life. Whenever one door, closes another opens.

9. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned in life to date?

Before: 1.That you have to work on yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, you can change it.

2. If nothing ever changed, we would be just as unhappy.  In the past, I focused so much on trying to keep things the same because change scared me, but imagine if nothing ever changed. We would be so bored and probably more unhappy. It’s because happiness comes from growth, and growth comes with pain! They go hand in hand.

I just blew my own mind I think.

Currently: I still standby my previous comments but would like to add something. The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is that you can’t run away from your problems. I have met so many people who came here to escape things from back home (partially including myself). The truth is your life is your life no matter where you go and although changing your surroundings can be helpful, you can not escape anything (especially in this day and age with the technology that connects us).  Although it may nice to have a break from certain people and places, overall you either carry your problems with you or create new ones in your new home. The most important thing you can do is feel your feelings. Don’t ignore what you’re going through.

10. What do you want to have achieved one year from now?

Before: In one year, I want to have stayed in Korea for one year. I know that seems repetitive and self-explanatory but what I really mean is: I don’t want to give up. I want to fight through the pain and the loneliness. In situations of fight or flight, I tend to be a flight-er. This time I want to be a fighter. I want to have seen many more countries, made new friends, successfully have taught my own class for the first time. I would also like to have kept up with this blog and really document my experiences!

Currently: I hope by this time next year I am a high level Spanish speaker. My profesional goal for Spain is to increase my language abilities. Personally, I would like to continue coming out of my shell. In Korea, I definitely said “eff it” a lot and was able to let my guard down. I felt pretty confident in my skin but I would like to embrace myself even more. I would like to say yes to as many opportunities and experiences as I can. I hope I will have seen at least 5 more countries!

11.Write the words you need to hear.

Before: Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today. Embrace uncertainty and change. Nothing will ever stay the same forever. Learn to roll with it. Take each day as it comes and be grateful for what it brings. Live one day at a time.

Que sera, sera!

Currently: Everything will happen in it’s right time. Focus on now. Take it one day at a time. We can’t predict the future or change the past. Opportunities will reveal themselves in due time. Also, crying is okay and know that the reason you are struggling is because saying goodbye to people you love so fiercely is daunting but be glad you even had the opportunity to spread and receive that kind of love.

Excited to see where I will go.

Peace & Love,

Anna

The Longest Week of My Life

Okay, so it’s Friday night at 7:19 which means in one hour I will have officially been in South Korea for one whole week. It feels like this easily could have been 5 weeks mashed into one. I am already surprised by how settled in I am and how comfortable I feel here.

I’m currently sat in a Korean cafe down the street from my house counting the bug bites I acquired on the 20 minute walk home (11 so far… edit: over 20 easily), drinking a green tea latte I ordered only because I said “tea” and the barista didn’t understand I was trying to ask her what kind of tea they had. This is the first night since I’ve been here that I haven’t done something big and I thought about going home and crashing immediately but I felt bad about spending my first Friday night in my new home being a couch potato (Although I surely deserve it).

I want to recap as much as possible that I’ve experienced and learned this week but I know a lot will fall through the cracks. I want this first blog to be conversational and stream of consciousness style so here we go…

I have a new name. You can call me “Anna Teacher” from now on. I already love being Anna Teacher. I have my homeroom class of seven students that I have already figured out surprisingly well. There’s the bossy one, the quiet one, and one who can’t seem to keep from falling on the floor every five steps. I love them so much already and it only took 5 minutes for them to go from standing in the corner awkwardly to hanging all over me. One thing worth mentioning is Korean’s obsession with beauty. I have one student in particular who has already told me I’m prettier than the last teacher, requested I wear dresses, complimented my hair, and got up during the middle of class to inspect my choice of earrings. This obsession goes for the parents as well. My co-teacher constantly has to brush my student’s hair so their parents don’t get upset when they get home. My co-teacher is so sweet and so helpful. I feel really lucky to have gotten her.

One thing that blows me away is how incredibly smart my student’s are. They are 6 years old Korean age (so 5 American age) and they are already reading at the age of American 7 year olds. Although I am amazed, I am also sad because I know how hard they have to work for that and the amount of pressure that is put on them at such a young age.

I survived my first field trip to a Korean broadcasting network. The entire presentation was in Korean so I don’t really know what was said but it was still fun to get out of the school and see something new.

Speaking of new things here is a bulleted list of strange things I have learned about Korea this week:

1. There is no regard for pedestrians here. Cars will not stop for you.
2. Since I’m sitting in a cafe, it’s worth noting. Cafe’s are not open early in the morning. Even Starbucks doesn’t open until 7 and most local cafes don’t open until 8:30 or later.
3. Korean’s have their own messaging system called Kakao Talk which is basically like WhatsApp. The app has it’s own emojis and the character’s are EVERYWHERE on EVERY kind of merchandise. (This is my bus card with one of the characters on it and a cheese cake bread with a different one called Ryan)
4. Clothing sizes are so small here. Even the American brands only go up to a size 8!!! WTF!
5. There is no shower. There is a shower head on your bathroom wall. My bathroom doesn’t even have a sink in it.
6. Everything has sugar on it. Even garlic bread.
7. Korean’s LOVE corn. Corn in and on EVERYTHING. 

Other things worth mentioning:

1. We have a school pet. It’s a kitten named Meonji which means “dust” in Korean. I’m obsessed.
2. I love my city. It is the perfect combination of city and nature. There is so much green. We’ll see how long it lasts.
3. I really love my coworkers. There are 3 from South Africa and 3 from America!

Anyways, it’s been a crazy week. I went from staying in a nice hotel to moving into an apartment. I now know my way from home to school and how to get a few different places all within walking distance. I went from shadowing to teaching. I went from knowing 0 Korean to now knowing how to say hello, goodbye, please, thank you, yes, no, 1, here, and I don’t understand. Everything is changing so quickly and I’m feeling pretty settled in already! I can’t wait to talk to you guys about what happens next!

Peace & Love,

Anna

Interviewing Myself- Pre-Departure

When I was in 7th grade, my mom never let me have a myspace (see my 7th grade selfie above). I used to fill out those surveys and post them from my friends’ accounts because I wanted to hint at everyone that I liked a boy. It was like the 2007 version of subtweeting.

Anyways, here I am interviewing myself with questions gathered from the internet as well as from some of you! I want to answer these questions for myself. All these answers are completely truthful and raw. I think it’s important to share my real actual feelings about a matter of things with you all because social media can be so deceiving these days. Mostly, I want to re-answer these question in a years time to see how my answers change as a result of my experience in Korea. Enjoy!

1. Where are you right now? What are you doing?

Currently, it’s 6:53 am. I am in San Diego sitting on the couch of the family I nanny for writing this blog post and drinking a venti iced coffee with soy milk.  I’m wearing a YMCA half zip sweatshirt, blue striped workout pants, two different socks, my hair in a bun, and zero make up.

2. What does a day in your life look like?

Right now, a day in my life is waking up at 5:30 am, running out the door to make it to work by 6 am, sitting on the couch until the girls wake up at 8:30, and doing nanny duties (such as cooking and going to the swimming pool) until about 4pm. I usually sit and talk with their mom for about 30 minutes before driving home and throwing together a dinner (last night was PB&J). Then, I sit in my bed and watch Youtube until I fall asleep around 9:30 and do it all over again. On the weekend, I typically wake up around 7 am, make myself banana protein pancakes with peanut butter, go to my parents’s house, play with my dogs, watch my brother’s basketball game, and then go home and watch Youtube.

I watch a lot of Youtube.

3. What is your relationship status? How do you feel about it?

I am currently and newly single. At first it was easy, I was in Peru experiencing some of the most magnificent things of my life. Then, I came home to the apartment where we used to live together and it hurt. I very much still live in our space which I think is the hardest part. Some days the fog takes over and I start to forget why I ended things and essentially inflicted this horrifying pain on myself. Most days I am clear and feel good. Even when it hurts, I know I made the right decision for my life right now. I have been focusing on me and picking up old hobbies I used to work on before I got into a relationship. I am trying to focus on the present instead of past or future.

4. Are you happy? 

Right now, I feel content. I have been feeling as if I’m living for the future which is to be expected because I’m moving across the world and can’t stop wondering what it will be like. I feel like I’ve been distracted and seeing this question has really caused me to think about it. I am grateful and blessed therefore in this moment I am happy. I think happiness fleeting; I am searching for joy and peace which I feel that I have.

5. What interpersonal skills would you like to develop? 

The three skills I would most like to more fully develop are being flexible, listening more frequently and attentively, and accepting feedback more graciously. I think I have become more flexible recently, but I know that going into my new job in Korea I will have to be very flexible. The culture of business is much different and will take time to adjust to; therefore, I will have to be patient and understanding. Secondly, we all know I am a talker. I love filling silence with my own sound. I am working on only talking when necessary because I think a lot of my loudness comes from insecurity and need to be felt. I want to be a good listener. Finally, I have real trouble accepting feedback. I hate to be critiqued. It makes me very uncomfortable to hear someone telling me I can improve; it sounds like “You’ve failed” to me. I want to be able to hear from a different perspective. I know we can always and should always want to improve.

6. What are your beliefs?

The number one belief I hold right now is that everyone (the vast majority) of people are doing what they think is the right thing to do. What I mean by that is nobody is trying to hurt other people whether it be politically or personally everyone operates on their truths. Truth is subjective obviously. We create our truth and truths can change. It helps me to keep positive and respectful when dealing with others who may have differing truths from mine. Everyone is doing what they think is the best thing for their lives. The second belief I have, which goes hand and hand with the former, is the only thing we can control is our own feelings. We will never be able to control what happens to us or what others say or do. We can simply only control our reaction. It is a lifelong practice.

7. What are you most proud of in your life?

I am most proud of myself. Over the past few years, I have done so many difficult things and grown so much. I have lost over 60 pounds, completely changed my mindset to a more positive one, created so much opportunity for myself, done uncomfortable things, spread more love, surrounded myself with a more positive peer group, and I WALKED ON FIRE. I just could have never seen my life where it is now. I am proud that I am learning to embrace change and fear.

8. How do you picture your life a year from now?

A year from I picture myself writing this in my studio apartment maybe on the 17th floor of a tall building, in the middle of a bustling city. I will have almost completed one year in Korea as a new teacher.  I will probably be exhausted but be sad at the thought of leaving my kids. I picture myself with new friends from around the world and possibly a new relationship. I think I will have committed to another year abroad. If not, I think I will be applying for graduate school for linguistics probably not in San Diego, maybe a different country altogether.

9. How easy/ difficult do you assume the assimilation process will be? How long will it take?

I think the assimilation process will go something like this:

1. First few month: This is a fun vacation!!!
2. Second/third month: I have it all figured out.
3. 4-7 months in: WTF am I doing here?! I know nothing.
4. 8-12 months: Can I stay another year?

It may also go nothing like that but this is my assumption.

I think certain facets will be easier than others. I assume language will be the biggest barrier and hurdle.  In Portugal, I felt that I assimilated almost immediately despite the language barrier. Peru took me longer because of the poverty level and safety concerns I had. Korea will be different because there is no Roman alphabet and I am not coming home after one month.

10. What will you miss the most about home?

In all honesty, I am most sad to leave my dogs. I know this sounds crazy but hear me out. My family will know where I am, why I have left, and I can still communicate with them. My dogs have no idea. I hate the idea that they might think I’m gone forever or even worse that they could forget me!

I will also really miss lazy weekends with my family and going to my brother’s basketball games.

11. What do you want to discover about yourself in the next year?

Like most people my age, I am going through the post-grad “Who the hell am I and what do I want?” phase. I think the biggest struggle I’m currently dealing with in that realm is marriage vs. single and free life. I know this seems crazy since I’m 23 and not in a relationship but it’s something I want more clarity on. Part of me wants that perfect family. I want to bring breakfast in bed to my husband and babies, be the perfect stay at home mom, wife, etc. I know it’s unreasonable and there is no perfect family, but I want it so badly. The other part of me and my wild Sagittarius heart thinks that no two people can actually be happy together forever. No one can promise infinite love without knowing the future and what lies ahead (which none of us do). This part of me wants the adventure, the experience, the infatuation stage forever with as many people as possible, never settling. I’m trying to focus on not rushing and taking it one day at a time, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want clarity for myself. Especially since whatever I decide is ultimately something I need to bring to the table and be upfront about in future relationships. Of course, I could fall madly in love any day, and my views on this could change immediately.

I’m sure this is all part of the becoming an adult thing – thinking I have to have it all figured out.

 

12. What advice would you give yourself one year ago?

Trust your instincts EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO EVEN WHEN IT’S THE SEEMINGLY HARDER CHOICE. You can fight so many things but not yourself. It is the most tiring battle. It will take more work to undo what you’ve done to yourself than doing what you are trying to avoid. Once it’s done you will feel peace, don’t delay that relief just to avoid pain. Trust yourself.

13. What is the biggest thing you’ve learned in life to date?

1.That you have to work on yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, you can change it.

2. If nothing ever changed, we would be just as unhappy.  In the past, I focused so much on trying to keep things the same because change scared me, but imagine if nothing ever changed. We would be so bored and probably more unhappy. It’s because happiness comes from growth, and growth comes with pain! They go hand in hand.

I just blew my own mind I think.

14. What do you want to have achieved one year from now?

In one year, I want to have stayed in Korea for one year. I know that seems repetitive and self-explanatory but what I really mean is: I don’t want to give up. I want to fight through the pain and the loneliness. In situations of fight or flight, I tend to be a flight-er. This time I want to be a fighter. I want to have seen many more countries, made new friends, successfully have taught my own class for the first time. I would also like to have kept up with this blog and really document my experiences!

15.Write the words you need to hear.

Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today. Embrace uncertainty and change. Nothing will ever stay the same forever. Learn to roll with it. Take each day as it comes and be grateful for what it brings. Live one day at a time.

Que sera, sera!