What I’ve Learned About Living Abroad

Hello everyone! I thought I’d take the time to list out 5 of the most important things I learned about living abroad over the past year. Let’s get into it.

1. It can be exhausting (especially with communication barriers)

Let’s face it! Most people love the sound of a year abroad. It’s like a big vacation right!? Wrong. Have you ever spent an hour online trying to order pizza in a different language only to eventually give up? Have you ever purposely avoided going to the grocery store because you have a pimple and you know people will be staring at you simply because you’re a foreigner? Have you ever been caught in a torrential downpour without an umbrella when your bus is half an hour away? These are just some of the hardships I’ve faced living abroad specially somewhere where you can’t speak the language! Some days you just want to blend in, but you always stick out like a sore thumb: Nothing is easy and everything takes an extra layer of thought.

2. Traveling is real world education.

The school of life, ladies and gents! In conjunction with number one, having these experiences forces you to grow as a person. You are constantly growing and evolving. I remember how amazing it felt when I mastered the routine of going to the grocery store.

First, they are going to ask you if you want a bag. Next, they take your card. Lastly, you say the four numbers for your point card. Just four Korean numbers. You can do this Anna. Whew. Nailed it.

I saw a post recently that compared traveling to being in kindergarten again. “Your whole life becomes a series of interesting guesses.” Everything is scary and you have no idea what you’re doing, but once you figure it out you feel immense joy.

3. You can feel people’s energy without speaking the same language.

I learned this with many of the Korean teachers at my school. Most of them have a beginner’s level of English so our communication is minimal when we don’t have one of the bilingual teachers around to translate. There’s so many times I wish we could communicate more clearly because I just know we would be great friends. I feel like we already are. I have always seen myself as someone who can read others well, but I definitely think my senses are heightened after a year abroad.

4. It’s a transient lifestyle.

There is no getting comfortable in life abroad. There where a few times here where I thought I was (Little did I know the rug was about to be pulled out from under me). The first moment I can think of came 4 months after arriving where my co-teacher left the school. She was my best friend and I was horrified and devastated. Then a few months later, my best friend in Korea left and went back home to South Africa. All of the sudden, I was the longest working foreign teacher at my school. I had to be a leader and without my partner in crime. It’s hard to feel settled when things keep changing. As an expat, friends will come and go. As a teacher in a hagwon, workers will come and go. Nothing has any sense of permanence here.

5. Homes are where you make them.

That being said, your new country will become your home. And home will be home too. As an expat, you will spread your heart far and wide. This is the most beautiful and heart breaking part of the whole experience. Over the year, I have left parts of my heart in many places. Japan and Taiwan got small chunks of my heart as I solo-ventured and fell in love with them. South Africa got another piece of my heart with the friends I made that went home. The largest portion will stay in Korea and more specially with my students. I am struggling with saying goodbye because Korea truly does feel like home to me. I am so grateful to have met so many amazing people that make saying bye so difficult.

I hope you enjoyed and got some insight into my journey abroad.

Peace & Love,

Anna

What I’ve Learned About Relationships From Being Single for 1 Year

One year ago I completely destroyed my “perfect” little life. Really, I should say I took the first step, which was also the biggest and hardest one to take. The breakup.

Coming to the conclusion that I needed to break up with someone was the hardest part. It was almost a year of ignoring the little voice in my head that said, “Maybe this isn’t meant to be your forever.” Breaking up didn’t sound easy, fun, or sensible, so in my brain it wasn’t a possibility. The thoughts kept creeping up on me, in the shower, while driving, while in school. They became harder to ignore and I manifested them into a crippling anxiety that couldn’t be ignored. When my physical heart started hurting and I wasn’t sleeping, I knew it was time to at least consider it. I didn’t talk about it out loud. I kept it in and pushed it down. I couldn’t talk to my friends about it because once it came out of my mouth I knew I would have to face it. But being the over-sharer I am, one day it came out at dinner with a friend and then just a few short days letter it happened.

You may be asking why I’m sharing this when people that I wish wouldn’t will probably read it and it’s all so deeply and painfully personal. Well I have a few answers to that question:

1. I think it could actually really help someone especially people who are like me and had no idea what a break up would actually be like
2. Writing is my therapy
3. Because as horrible as it was my break up was the best thing that ever happened to me

So without further ado I would like to share the 6 biggest lessons I’ve learned about love, relationships, and break ups in the last year.

1. Being in a relationship is not a solution to all of life’s problems.

Our world places a ridiculous amount of pressure on people to be in relationships. They paint this picture that nothing bad can happen to you once you find “the one”. The truth is life will try to knock you down whether you are single or not. Being in a relationship does not protect you from the cruelties of life, so staying in one when it’s not working is only going to cause more trouble.

2. Peace and mourning can co-exist

To quote the iconic adolescent novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”

This was another huge lesson for me. I felt like if I was sad I couldn’t possibly be making the right choice. But I noticed that once I faced my fears, confronted my feelings, and just did it, I felt at peace. I also felt so incredibly sad. Healing is not linear and there are definitely still days where I feel sad and some nights where I randomly I cry. However, I am always positive this was the best decision for me because I also feel an overwhelming amount of peace. As soon as I confronted my feelings, my physical anxiety symptoms went away and were replaced by a calm vulnerability.

3. The right decision is often the harder one to make.

It shouldn’t be so hard to leave, but it also shouldn’t be so hard to stay. There’s a difference between working on what you can fix and staying after time has expired. Of course, staying together seems like the easier answer but the harder choice is almost always the better one. Personal growth is right outside your comfort zone and leaving my bubble and facing the hard truth opened the door to many amazing opportunities. Growing is painful but we can be truly happy unless we are progressing. Staying in a dying relationship because it feels better than confronting your feelings will only hurt you more in the end.

4. Trust Yourself.

You shouldn’t have to make a list of pros and cons to decide to stay or go. If your heart says it’s time, then it’s time. I so badly wanted to avoid pain that I literally disconnected myself from my heart even though it was telling me the truth all along. It caused much more damage in the long run and I’m still working to rebuild that connection with myself. Just listen to your gut.

5. You’re allowed to be sad even if you’re the “heartbreaker”.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and I think it’s actually the reason I lost many friends during this time of my life. Since I was the one breaking up with someone, I really felt as if I had no place to be sad. This was what I “wanted” and so I had to be happy about it. If I was that heartbroken, why would we be breaking up in the first place? It lead me to try to act tougher and happier than I really was. Since in my relationship I had suppressed a lot of emotions, it only felt natural at this point to continue to do so. These shattering life moments don’t come with a rule book, although sometimes society makes it seem that way. If you’re sad, feel sad.

6. Just because it’s not wrong doesn’t mean it’s right!

This was definitely one of the biggest lessons for me and one that I’m still learning fully. It’s easy for friends and family to say, “But he was such a nice guy!” Of course then your brain agrees and decided you’ll never meet a “nice” guy again as if “nice” is the only thing a person needs to be to have a fulfilling relationship. You can have the perfect guy and still not be happy. If he’s not perfect for you, then it’s time to go. Don’t use every bad thing he doesn’t do as an excuse to stay.

You’re still probably wondering why l said my break up is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So before I go, let me explain.

My breakup forced me to do something really difficult. Something I really wanted to avoid because of fear and pain. By breaking down that boundary and doing the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, I was set free. Nothing scared me anymore. If I could do that horrifying thing, I could do other scary things too. Things that I would bring me massive joy- like moving to Korea. If I hadn’t had the courage to break up with my ex, I’m not sure I would be here today. I wouldn’t have been in this stunning country. I wouldn’t have experienced the strong bond and immense love my students and I share. I wouldn’t have made the incredible friends I have. Friends that think smarter and more openly than anyone I have ever met. Girls who also took that risk and faced their fear. Women who are still helping me pick up the pieces today.

I am so blessed and grateful for all the changes that have occurred in my life over the last year. None of them could have happened, if I hadn’t taken the first steps.

This blog isn’t to tell you to break up- unless your heart is already telling you to do so. If this is the sign you need, take it. In all, I’m really telling you that if you do the impossible things, unbelievable things happen in return.

Love,

Anna

P.S. I feel like I have to add as a disclaimer that I by no means intend to make my ex look bad. He is a great person and I hope you can understand this is more about me and my self-discovery than it is about him.

Set Back or Set Up?

Okay update time! My move has been pushed back. Things were coming down to the wire and in the end didn’t go the way I would have hoped. Here’s the rundown:

So basically, I had to get an FBI background check and I didn’t pass. Just kidding. I got the background check done and was emailed my results in a password protected zip file. This is the new way that the US likes to do it because it’s faster and more efficient. Unfortunately, this is not the way Korea likes to do it! After deliberating and having my program director visit their office multiple times for hours on end, they rejected the document. They needed it to be printed out on a different kind of paper with a watermark instead of just on normal copy paper. For whatever reason, they could not verify it’s validity without this special paper. Yeah, my move is postponed because of one single piece of paper thats texture was incorrect…

This is frustrating because:

1. I was supposed to go to LA to get my visa as soon as this was approved.
2. I couldn’t communicate with people in Korea until night time so I wouldn’t know if I was going to LA until the night before.
3. I had been speculating which day it was going to be and organizing my work schedule around it.
4. It kept taking longer so I had to keep switching around my schedule.
5. I was mentally prepared to be leaving the country in 11 days.
6. After I got the document originally done, I have to apostille it which means someone in the US government has to verify the validity of the document and sign off on it ( so the paper shouldn’t matter because it’s already been signed off on).
7. And I have to reprocess a document which I have already correctly processed just to have it printed on a different type of paper.
8. Usually it takes 10-12 weeks to get this document by mail.

You can see how disheartening this would be which is why I spent the night crying and being upset. The immediate thought that crossed through my mind was “Maybe this means I shouldn’t go”. I was looking for an “out” because to be quite honest, the closer the day came the more nervous I was getting.

I had to stop and ask myself “What is the lesson here? Why is this hurdle being placed in my life?” Not to toot my own horn but I have recently discovered I am very good being self-aware and recognizing patterns in my life, and then I saw it.

Pattern: I spontaneously decide I want something. I sign up for it. It gets difficult. I don’t want it anymore.

Why is my first thought when something gets hard to quit?

I wasn’t expecting to learn any lessons before I even got to Korea, but then I realized…

When I’m there in a brand new environment and culture with brand new coworkers and personalities, many moments will be like this. My expectations will not always be met. I will be disappointed at times. Deadlines will change. Will I run home as soon as something doesn’t go my way?

Here’s where having good friends comes into play. I called my friend Amanda and she talked sense into me. “The Universe has perfect timing and you have to believe that this is all happening because it’s the best possible way.” I have to think of it as a set- up for something better instead of a set-back. I just have to detach myself from the result. As Tony Robbins says, “Trade expectation for appreciation”. I was upset, but I let go. It instantly worked miracles.

Yesterday, when I went to the get my fingerprints redone for the background check, the channeler ended up giving me the redo for free because she was sympathetic to my situation. She also found a way that would only take a few days instead of the 12 weeks it should have. As soon as I let go of what should happen, things started falling into place quickly. I have hope that everything will be resolved soon and I will be on the plane in no-time.

Que sera, sera!

Peace & Love,

Anna

UPDATE: WHERE I’VE BEEN AND WHERE I’M GOING (Moving Abroad)

So I’ve decided to put finger to keyboard once more. I recently started a Youtube channel to document my travels and my experience with finding a job abroad. I am loving it but I know I can express myself best and most fully through writing so I thought the (Youtube & blogging; visual & written) would make a good pair.

If you’re already following this blog, you will have noticed a change in content. This used to be my fitness blog. I plan to keep streams of that coming as I integrate and adjust to my new life abroad. If you are both a traveler and a health junkie, check out my Youtube channel where I just posted a video about how to stay healthy while traveling!

To answer a few questions you may already have at this point, I am moving to Changwon, South Korea in approximately one month ( approx. because I don’t have my ticket yet because trying to get a visa is an extensive process)! My first day of work is in exactly 32 days but I want to head over a little early to allow myself time to adjust before getting into the craziness that will be teaching kindergarten (Does that answer the second question?) Yes, I will be teaching a group of little munchkins for one year abroad. I will have a Korean co-teacher in my classroom who will help with translations and talking to parents since I do not speak one lick of Korean. Okay I actually know two words: “breakfast” and “thank you” but you can see how that would not last me long in a classroom setting.

To answer what I am assuming is your most burning question: “Anna, WHY would you leave San Diego the city you’ve always lived in with perfect weather, a cheap apartment, an ocean view, and a job offer to go somewhere else that doesn’t even have a Roman alphabetic system and is most known for the grilling of large amounts of meat when you are a vegetarian?”

To be short, I have no fricking idea. To be long, I have lived in San Diego my whole life and although it is without a doubt the most perfect place one can live. It’s time. One day you wake up and you’re 23 and 1/2 and realize all your friends stayed in the cities they went to college in and you are the only one left and somehow you start to feel bored and alone in your own hometown. One day you wake up and you’re 23 and 1/2 realize one day you won’t be 23 and 1/2 and you are going to want to settle down with a family and cute babies so you have to get this shit (shit=travel) out of your system now. Lastly and most importantly BECAUSE I’M SCARED. Staying in San Diego isn’t scary to me anymore which means I’m not growing. I’ve done what I can here in this city- kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, moving out, working. At least at this point in my life, I don’t feel like I can grow here anymore. I’m learning to fall in love with the unpredictability of life. I try to imagine my new life in Korea but I know it will all go differently than I imagine. It could all go horribly or perfectly but it will be a new experience either way. I’m chasing it whole-heartedly.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this lengthy post about my crazy life.

If you want to follow along feel free to join me on any of my social media below ❤

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Peace & Love,

Anna