Set Back or Set Up?

Okay update time! My move has been pushed back. Things were coming down to the wire and in the end didn’t go the way I would have hoped. Here’s the rundown:

So basically, I had to get an FBI background check and I didn’t pass. Just kidding. I got the background check done and was emailed my results in a password protected zip file. This is the new way that the US likes to do it because it’s faster and more efficient. Unfortunately, this is not the way Korea likes to do it! After deliberating and having my program director visit their office multiple times for hours on end, they rejected the document. They needed it to be printed out on a different kind of paper with a watermark instead of just on normal copy paper. For whatever reason, they could not verify it’s validity without this special paper. Yeah, my move is postponed because of one single piece of paper thats texture was incorrect…

This is frustrating because:

1. I was supposed to go to LA to get my visa as soon as this was approved.
2. I couldn’t communicate with people in Korea until night time so I wouldn’t know if I was going to LA until the night before.
3. I had been speculating which day it was going to be and organizing my work schedule around it.
4. It kept taking longer so I had to keep switching around my schedule.
5. I was mentally prepared to be leaving the country in 11 days.
6. After I got the document originally done, I have to apostille it which means someone in the US government has to verify the validity of the document and sign off on it ( so the paper shouldn’t matter because it’s already been signed off on).
7. And I have to reprocess a document which I have already correctly processed just to have it printed on a different type of paper.
8. Usually it takes 10-12 weeks to get this document by mail.

You can see how disheartening this would be which is why I spent the night crying and being upset. The immediate thought that crossed through my mind was “Maybe this means I shouldn’t go”. I was looking for an “out” because to be quite honest, the closer the day came the more nervous I was getting.

I had to stop and ask myself “What is the lesson here? Why is this hurdle being placed in my life?” Not to toot my own horn but I have recently discovered I am very good being self-aware and recognizing patterns in my life, and then I saw it.

Pattern: I spontaneously decide I want something. I sign up for it. It gets difficult. I don’t want it anymore.

Why is my first thought when something gets hard to quit?

I wasn’t expecting to learn any lessons before I even got to Korea, but then I realized…

When I’m there in a brand new environment and culture with brand new coworkers and personalities, many moments will be like this. My expectations will not always be met. I will be disappointed at times. Deadlines will change. Will I run home as soon as something doesn’t go my way?

Here’s where having good friends comes into play. I called my friend Amanda and she talked sense into me. “The Universe has perfect timing and you have to believe that this is all happening because it’s the best possible way.” I have to think of it as a set- up for something better instead of a set-back. I just have to detach myself from the result. As Tony Robbins says, “Trade expectation for appreciation”. I was upset, but I let go. It instantly worked miracles.

Yesterday, when I went to the get my fingerprints redone for the background check, the channeler ended up giving me the redo for free because she was sympathetic to my situation. She also found a way that would only take a few days instead of the 12 weeks it should have. As soon as I let go of what should happen, things started falling into place quickly. I have hope that everything will be resolved soon and I will be on the plane in no-time.

Que sera, sera!

Peace & Love,

Anna

MY WHY! No More Martyrs.

Ever since I was a little girl, I noticed women around me RUSHING. Anxiety-ridden women with too much to do and not enough time to do it. As a single mother, my mom was a hard worker. I still don’t know all  the sacrifices she had to make and I probably never will. Women are givers by nature. They give too much. They take the kids to soccer practice. They fold their husbands’ laundry. They go to work and then come home where they work some more. Then, they go to bed and do it all over again. Day after day after day. Women are more than givers. They are self-sacrificers. They are MARTYRS.

Some think this is a beautiful thing for women to be, I do not. I celebrate giving. It is a wonderful habit to have but killing yourself for others is not glamorous. It perpetuates a vicious circle. A circle of young girls who see their mothers and become just like them: frantic, resentful, over-worked, MARTYRS. I can guarantee many mothers would not wish their life upon their daughters as future mothers- always wanting more for them than for themselves. But daughters will follow YOUR example so if you want things to be different for them, make things different for you too. Make them better.

When you are on an airplane and the flight attendant is monotonously spewing through the safety demonstration what do they say each time?? “Please secure your mask before assisting others.” I feel like this applies to life in general. You need to fill up your own cup before you can go around filling others’ cups. When is the quality of your giving better when you have an overflowing cup or a dribble of last weeks juice at the bottom?! You don’t need me to say the answer.

The truth is YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE. Read it again. Say it again. Believe it. Your kids would literally not exist without you. You created human beings. Your job can be filled be any other person in the world. Which means if you’re not happy, you get to change! YOU GET TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST. The happiness of everyone around you depends on it.

The problem is many mothers are running on the juice droplets.Then comes the excuses and guilt. 

Have you ever said or felt one of these:

1. “I just don’t have any time. I’m so busy.”
2. “I’m too tired.”
3. “I feel so empty”
4. “No one appreciates my hard work.”
5. “I don’t have enough money.”

You speak your truth so by saying or thinking these things you are affirming them. Instead affirm your truths:

1. ” I am great mother.”
2. “I am a strong energized women.”
3. “I owe myself time to recharge.”
4. ” I am appreciated and am grateful to help those around me.”
5. ” I am abundant.”

Here is the truth: you DO have time. Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying”it’s not a priority” and see how you feel. My bet is it doesn’t feel good to look yourself in the face and say “I am not my priority.” If you have to take 45 minutes of your day FOR YOU to make sure your cup is full. Your children will understand. Your husband will too. Chances are you will be a better mother for it.With positive energy flowing, you will view time with your children as a blessing instead of a responsibility and your husband will be happier if you’re not taking out the stress of an entire day on him for one tiny thing he said. I’m not saying it will solve everything and make it perfect but what I am saying is that it is necessary.
So while you are setting up that great example for your children of what a fullfilling life can look like, you should also be setting them up with a healthy lifestyle. Physical health and mental health are truly 2 peas in a pod. If your nurtition is lacking, your mental health can often suffer and we all know hat when our mental state is not sound we are prone to midnight Ben and Jerry’s on the couch.

This is why I do Herbalife. It allows me to prioritize myself in the nooks and crannies of my life. I can listen to personal development to feed my mental growth while I am getting ready in the morning or driving to work. Trust me, it’s better than listening to the same song on the radio ten times in a twenty minute time span. Ask your kids what they’re grateful for and share what you’re grateful for. Make it a family ordeal. Ground yourself, center yourself, and prepare to face the day. As for nutrution, literally nothing could be easier than blending water and powder. Even making eggo waffles takes longer than that. So while you’re making your healthy breakfast, make one for your kids too. I see far too many parents giving their children donuts for breakfast because they think healthy breakfasts take too long or are inconvenient. There is a way to live that is both overly-convenient and beneficial. It’s time to stop the excuses and live your best life ever. 

I know this may make some people upset and they may think I have no idea what I’m talking about. But if this disturbs you it probably applies to you, and I urge you to think about it deeply. My mission is to empower women to invest in themselves. It’s the most important investment you can make.
Peace and love,

Anna